


1:00.00

by parkified



Category: EXO, EXO (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Boxing, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 13:20:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8447479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkified/pseuds/parkified
Summary: au; park chanyeol is an underground street fighter in seoul,
coached by his best friend luhan who is stuck in an 
abusive relationship with ring leader kai.
chanyeol is in the midst of training for the match of his life
when he meets a devil-eyed blonde fighter named sehun.





	1. pt. I

**Author's Note:**

> please read tags for warnings; i wrote this 2 years ago and finished it last year. available on AFF: www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1030755

_**3:00.00** _

 

It was the evening, where business was at its peak. Men tired from work and from their lives rushed in to get a seat. The smell of alcohol and sweat permeated the club around them. It was a smell that he'd grown used to. A smell that he didn't go a day without.

 

Across from him was his best friend and coach, which was unusual because they were only a few years apart. But he knew the game, and Chanyeol was nothing but eager to learn.

 

He was going on about the new fighter, Oh Sehun, who was dominating the streets. His instincts were faster than Chanyeol's and he never took longer than five minutes to knock his opponent out. But Chanyeol never took longer than three minutes.

 

"Don't get cocky just because you're in the leaderboards now, 'Yeol," Luhan told him, trying to bring his friend back to reality. "This kid may be younger than you but he's smarter and he's getting better. I've already heard his name come out Kai's mouth.."

 

Chanyeol looked at his friend, who brought his drink to his lips, giving Chanyeol a knowing look.

 

"Kai?"

 

Luhan nodded, taking a sip. He felt the drink burning his throat as it went down.

 

"But Kai wouldn't even look at me."

 

Luhan looked down. "You're right. But that's why you have me."

 

Chanyeol nodded, remembering Luhan was just as smart as Kai was. Not as scary, but definitely just as smart.

 

"Sorry, I just—"

 

"I know," Luhan stopped him. He stood up, pushing the rest of his drink to Chanyeol. "You have fun here, but not too much. We have to practice in the morning. Bright and early."

 

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol asked, starting to worry. The thought of "clubbing" alone wasn't very inviting to him.

 

"I have to see someone," the older boy said in a low tone. A tone that Chanyeol didn't trust. Like that, his Friend hat was back on and he gave Luhan a look.

 

"Lu, don't go to him. Please," Chanyeol begged, going to stand next to his friend. "You're only torturing yourself."

 

He didn't notice it before but now he saw how tired Luhan looked.

 

"Come stay with me at my place," Chanyeol offered, not wanting to see his friend get hurt again.

 

Luhan shook his head, backing away from Chanyeol. "I have to end it once and for all."

 

"I'll go with you," Chanyeol offered, putting up his fists.

 

"Put those down, 'Yeol," Luhan smiled. "I'll be fine."

 

"That's what you always say," Chanyeol reminded him, looking away. He knew that comment would make Luhan sad and he couldn't bear to see it again.

 

After a moment Luhan finally responded, "I'll be fine," and left.

 

Chanyeol sighed, turning back to his table. He gulped down the rest of his drink while watching Luhan push through the crowd. He had half a mind to go follow him, but he knew Luhan would only object. So he made his way to the dance floor instead.

 

On the usual nights, Chanyeol would dance and drink for about an hour before deciding to head home, but on Friday's he would try and find someone to distract him from all the stress of everything for the night. He knew he wasn't the only one looking around, so he figured all the viable contenders were probably already taken.

 

His eyes roamed around from where he stood at the bar before settling on a pair of eyes that were burning holes through him. The boy across the room bit his lip as he gave Chanyeol a once-over. Clearly he liked what he saw as a mischievous smile tugged at his lips.

 

Chanyeol suppressed a blush as he looked over the other boy as well. His bleached-blond hair was a messy cottonball on his head, and his sweat rolled down toned arms that lead to hands stuffed in tight pockets.

 

He wanted him, that much was clear, and Chanyeol felt the same. It wasn't long before they were chest-to-chest, lips pressed together and hands roaming. Chanyeol caught the smell of mint before his whole night became a blur of skin on skin, fast thrusts, and quiet whispers between sheets.

 

-

 

At 5:30 AM, the alarm next to Chanyeol's bed went off. He slowly opened his eyes before adjusting them to the screaming machine next to him. He slammed the OFF button, before sinking his head back into his pillow. He lay there for a few minutes before everything hit his brain at once.

 

School, practice, Luhan, the club last night.

 

He sat up and turned his head, hoping no one was lying next to him. And no one was.

 

He thought he would be relieved. The whole, "Hey could you put on some clothes and get out?" part was always the worst and he was glad he didn't have to do it, but some part of him missed the boy he met the previous night. His hooded eyes and throaty neck invaded Chanyeol's mind as he went to go shower.

 

When he came back to his room, he noticed a note that was next to his alarm clock.

 

'Thanks'

 

Chanyeol flipped it over but the back was blank. Just thanks? Maybe the other boy wasn't as into him as he seemed. Chanyeol shrugged, throwing the note in the trash as he headed out the door.

 

-

 

Chanyeol did a few rounds with the punching bag as he waited for Luhan to arrive. Whenever he called him out on it, Luhan would tell him it was so he could get extra practice, but Chanyeol knew it was because he would be with—

 

"Sorry I'm late," Luhan called, running in.

 

Chanyeol stretched his arms as Luhan walked towards him. As he came into view, Chanyeol noticed Luhan was wearing makeup. Something he hadn't done in years.

 

"Sorry, my alarm clock didn't go off. Okay, so today let's—"

 

"What are you wearing?" Chanyeol asked, bringing his arms down.

 

"Just some makeup. Do you like it?"

 

"Luhan..." Chanyeol murmured, holding the older boys face gently. He ran his thumb over his tongue before rubbing under Luhan's eye. As he suspected, the area was purple underneath.

 

Luhan closed his eyes, taking Chanyeol's hand away. "I'm fine. It's over."

 

"Is it?" Chanyeol asked, getting frustrated. Luhan was always making excuses for him, never worrying about himself. "Can't you see this isn't okay?"

 

"It's over," Luhan repeated, moving to the mat. "We have to practice."

 

"Han, no," Chanyeol pleaded, standing in front of the other boy. "Tell me what happened."

 

"Why? It's over!" Luhan said, pounding his fists into Chanyeol's chest. "Why can't you let it go?!"

 

Chanyeol held him still in his arms, allowing him to pause and recuperate himself.

 

"Because you're my best friend, and I'm not going to stand by while you get hurt."

 

"It's over," Luhan cried, hugging Chanyeol back. They stayed like this for a moment before Luhan pulled away, his makeup smeared.

 

Chanyeol wiped his tears away, assuring him that it was alright and that he didn't have to be ashamed.

 

"I found him at the ring," Luhan started, looking down. "We started talking and I told him I wanted to end it once and for all, and he got so angry... I took your advice. I told him that was exactly why we could never be together—his short fuse. And he started threatening me, threatening you. And I cursed at him. A lot. But.. he smacked me and I wanted to run but I didn't. I was still. So he punched me"— Luhan gestured to the bruise under his eye—"and I told him it was over and I left. When I got home he showed up a few hours later crying and asking if we could talk but I didn't listen to him. I ignored him the whole night."

 

"He was there the whole night?"

 

Luhan nodded. "I found him sleeping outside the door this morning but luckily I got away before he woke up. Actually I wanted to ask you if I can stay with you for a few days? Just until I can find another place."

 

Chanyeol nodded, hugging him again. "You can stay as long as you want. Hell, you can move in."

 

"No thanks," Luhan chuckled, hugging the giant boy back. "You're way too messy."

 

-

 

As Chanyeol was jogging home he couldn't rid himself of the anger that spread throughout his chest when he thought of Luhan getting hit. It wasn't the first time, and he had a feeling it wouldn't be the last. His best friend couldn't see it, but he was such a lightweight when it came to relationships. Even when Chanyeol had just been steps from Luhan's apartment, the older boy had pulled him away and begged him not to fight with his boyfriend even after he'd been sent to the hospital for "slipping down the stairs."

 

Chanyeol huffed, running faster. He fought to suppress his primal urge to fight. Fight for his best friend and to stop the bastard that kept hurting him. His hands tightened into a fist as he came to a four-way stop. Left lead to his apartment, right lead to Luhan's. But after thinking about what Luhan would want, he proceeded left.

 

-

 

Chanyeol helped Luhan pack his things hurriedly, when his attacker would surely be at the ring, and get him settled in his apartment. Chanyeol was already in the process of trying to find a roommate, so the situation kind of worked perfectly.

 

"Thanks for doing this, 'Yeol..." Luhan finally said after all his things were unboxed and put away. "I owe you one."

 

Chanyeol sighed, his hands planted firmly on his hips. "Consider it me repaying you for leaving that asshole."

 

Luhan didn't react, only moving to sit on his bed. He played with the corner of the sheets for a moment before smoothing it back down. After a moment he finally said, "Yeah, well... he wasn't all bad."

 

A subconscious urge to roll his eyes hit Chanyeol, but he ignored it. Instead he sat next to Luhan, heaving an arm around the older boy's shoulder. "You'll move on, Han. I'll make sure of that... Just give it time."

 

Luhan shrugged, blinking away the tears that began to cloud his vision. "You don't get it, 'Yeol... I really love him, you know. He's not just some bridge you get over. He means everything to me..."

 

"But—"

 

"You're right though. It's not the same as it used to be; we've grown apart and he's changed. So aggressive and never satisfied with anything.. I'm surprised he's even considered taking Sehun under his wing."

 

Chanyeol shook his head, still advert to the idea of someone like him not seeing the potential he possessed. "Well that's Kai. He feels something and goes for it. With you, with Sehun.. Not me though."

 

Luhan swallowed, a tiny smile pulling at his lips. "We don't need him. Sure he has power and a fleet of men behind him but we've got friendship, loyalty, and trust."

 

Chanyeol laughed, pulling Luhan into a tight snug. "Yeah, we do."

 

-

 

"CHAN-YEOL! CHAN-YEOL! CHAN-YEOL!" the group of young men chanted around the two boys, just inches from each other's faces. The aforementioned boy dropped his bookbag to the ground, his face stern and ready to fight.

 

It reminded him of high school; that one macho guy seeping under his skin until it burned so hot Chanyeol couldn't contain himself anymore. Except this time there were no deans to break them apart.

 

It was clear the boy staring him in the face had been waiting for this fight. The smirk on his face proved that. Even so, Chanyeol knew he'd soon be punching the smirk right off.

 

"You wanna start or should I?" Chanyeol hissed through gritted teeth. His hands were tight fists held up in front of his chest.

 

"Does it matter?" the other boy laughed, giving a side glance to his crew on the side. They didn't seem to have so much faith in their friend. "You're just gonna end up on the ground anyway."

 

Chanyeol laughed at the boy's attempt to faze him, then stopped, straight-faced, pushing the boy against a wall he didn't even realize was there.

 

The boy huffed, losing that edge that once covered his face.

 

"What's the matter?" Chanyeol asked, pushing the boy harder into the wall.

 

The boy swallowed, his breaths increasing in tempo. He looked around at the crowd that was starting to form. His friends retreated, slowly backing away. The crowd was a mix of entertained, worried, and skeptical faces. He knew this fight would be talked about and he wouldn't let his name be soiled.

 

He looked back at Chanyeol, nostrils flaring. "Nothing," he spat, pushing Chanyeol off of him.

 

Adrenaline was pumping lively through their bodies as the crowd coalesced in a "Fight!" chant.

 

Chanyeol breathed slowly—a lesson taught by his coach. His coach who was also his best friend, hurting inside but letting none of it show.

 

"You can't lose your poker face," he once told him at a match. It proved right, as a good game face usually scared his opponents immediately. And a scared opponent was an easy opponent.

 

The two boys circled each other, fists up.

 

"Come on, Jimin, let's just go!" one of the boy's friends called from a side. "It's not worth it, man."

 

"Yeah!" another friend called.

 

Jimin shook his head, eyes locked on the towering Chanyeol.

 

The crowd became impatient, screaming things like "Fight already!", "C'mon!", and "Quit being a pussy and just fight!"

 

Somewhere in the haze, Chanyeol felt a sharp blow to his face. He stood back, feeling his cheek begin to throb. It was over, he was gone, and it was time to fight.

 

Chanyeol noticed the boy cheering, so happy to have gotten a hit to Chanyeol Park, renowned fighter of Seoul, at least getting there anyway. But it didn't prove long before a force pounded itself into his jaw, almost throwing him off his feet.

 

"Don't worry, I got you," Chanyeol said, holding the boy's shoulder, then jamming his fist into Jimin's lower abdomen. The boy keeled over, his face contorting as his nerve-endings signaled his brain that he was in big trouble.

 

Chanyeol moved behind him, not missing a beat as his foot connected with the back of his opponents knees. Like that, he was on the floor. And Chanyeol beat his record to two minutes.

 

The crowd was sporadic, cheering and yelling as Jimin curled into a ball on the floor. His friends ran to his aid as the rest of the crowd entrapped Chanyeol in huddle of cheers and jumping. He nodded appreciatively, though he had to admit all the attention made him a bit uncomfortable. He remembered Luhan telling him not to get a big head after winning; it would only distract him from getting even better.

 

He looked at Jimin, wincing as his friends pulled him up from the ground.

 

"Here, let me help you to the nurse."

 

-

 

_**2:00.00** _

  
  
 

"Two minutes, huh?" Luhan hummed as he and Chanyeol walked down the street to the ring.

 

Chanyeol nodded. "That's my fastest time. Soon it'll be a minute, I'm telling you."

 

Luhan tilted his head, his bruise more visible now. It was healing, but it was still there. "Granted, the kid wasn't paying attention. He let his guard down and anyone with hands could've knocked him out. What if he kept his focus?"

 

"I still would've gotten him; He was an arrogant little bastard. I don't even know how he got the first punch but regardless I would've gotten him if he was still focused," Chanyeol nodded, setting his mind. Jimin had the drive, at least, to get better. He thought it actually would be cool if he joined them, but on the same accord he was too cocky and too focused on his reputation and winning instead of how to actually win. These thoughts were only in Chanyeol's mind because of Luhan.

 

The elder shrugged, going to unlock the doors to the ring when he noticed they were already unlocked. He looked up at Chanyeol, confused. Neither one had a clue as to who would be there during their time. They entered the room.

 

"Faster! C'mon! You call that a swing? You want to get knocked out, don't you?!"

 

Chanyeol's chest bumped into Luhan's back as the older boy stopped in his tracks. Beyond them was a sweaty boy pounding into one of the punching bags, another yelling into his ear—the other being Kai.

 

Chanyeol barely noticed when he saw the boy beating life into the bag. A tall, skinny boy with bleached-blonde hair, hooded eyes and a throaty neck. The neck Chanyeol's lips were on just a few days ago.

 

"Come on, Oh! Could you at least try?" Kai screamed, his face turning a dark red. "Goddamn it! Why am I even bothering with you?!"

 

The other boy yelled something that was muffled by his mouthpiece. Chanyeol was confused; he was doing great. In fact, he'd never seen anyone hit so fast. He felt bad for the punching bag.

 

"That's enough," Kai sighed, stepping away. He ran a hand through his hair, contemplating. Maybe he knew Sehun was great, and it frustrated him. As least that's what Chanyeol thought before he met Kai's eyes. It was then he realized there was no one standing in front of him anymore.

 

"Lu?" Kai whispered, his voice soft and gentle.

 

Chanyeol turned, catching Luhan's last foot out the door. He was running.

 

No, Chanyeol thought.

 

"Lu!" Kai called, running towards the door. Chanyeol immediately moved, stopping him in his tracks.

 

"Hell no," Chanyeol spat, his voice much lower than intended.

 

"Move aside, kid," Kai warned. In the distance, Sehun removed his mouthpiece, panting as he watched the scene unfold. He wiped sweat out of his eyes and finally saw who his coach was arguing with. A small gasp escaped him.

 

"Or what? You'll send your men after me?" Chanyeol gritted, his hands curling into fists.

 

A smirk pulled the side of Kai's mouth. "Oh, I'll do worse than that."

 

Sehun backed away, grabbing his duffle bag. He found a back door and snuck out.

 

"I couldn't care less what you would 'do' to me, Kai. You just stay the f*ck away from Luhan. He said it's over so that means just that—it's over. He doesn't want to see you, and he definitely doesn't want to see your short-fuse again. So keep away from him."

 

Chanyeol expected a big string of curses and worn-out threats, but instead he got sad eyes and a crumbling stance.

 

"He doesn't want to see me?" Kai said, looking away. Chanyeol had never seen this side of Kai—the soft, unnerving side. It must have been the side Luhan always saw in him. The reason he always made excuses for his inexcusable behavior. It was just simply odd.

 

"Clearly not, Kai," Chanyeol pointed to the door. "He just ran away from you."

 

Sehun stopped to lean on a wall before breathing deeply through his nose and out through his mouth.

 

"Calm down," he told himself, banishing the tears that began to form. He looked down at his hand which was shaking. He stretched his fingers in an attempt to stop the shaking. "It's wrong... It's not right.."

 

He shook his hand out quickly before he felt a force collide with his back.

 

"No!" he yelled, landing on the ground.

 

The boy next to him scrambled to get up, breathing a "Sorry, I...." before getting back to his feet.

 

Sehun looked up and immediately recognized him. "Hey, wait! Stop!"

 

Luhan paused, looking back at the boy he'd just tackled. Sehun got up, leaving his duffle bag on the ground.

 

"You were just at the ring…w-with that guy..." he said to the stranger. Their hands were in clenched fists at their sides.

 

"Yeah..." Luhan looked down. "I have to go—"

 

"Right," Sehun nodded, the coldness leaving his hands. He was in control again. Picking up his bag, he said, "Too coward to face Kai?"

 

Luhan's breaths stopped at the words "too coward." He reevaluated the boy in the front of him. Suddenly, it clicked.

 

"So you're Sehun."

 

The boy smiled, eyes dark. "In the flesh."

 

A slow-burning anger churned in Luhan's veins. Not at the boy's words but his cockiness, and the fact that this was the upcoming star threatening Chanyeol's rise to fame.

 

"He really signed you." Luhan stated rather than asked.

 

"Who? Kai? Yeah," Sehun smiled, taking a few steps down the street. "It's funny, you can't even say his name."

 

For whatever reason, Luhan followed, walking with him. "You don't know anything."

 

"Oh, but I do," Sehun nodded. "He hits you when you're being a bad boy, right?"

 

Luhan stopped.

 

"The proof's under your eye," Sehun pointed. "You tried to leave him, right? Too bad he'll never give you up. Which might sound sweet but really it terrifies you. Because you know he doesn't stop until he gets what he wants. Even if it means killing a few people in the process. But who would you even have to worry about? Oh, yeah… Chanyeol, is it?"

 

"Who the fuck are you?" Luhan demanded, pushing the boy’s arm.

 

"Easy there," Sehun chuckled. "I'm just another worthless fighter. You don't have to worry about me."

 

"I'm not," Luhan resolved. "Who are you working for?"

 

"I told you," Sehun spat. "I work for Kai. And don't worry, I won't tell anyone your and Kai's little secret; I just want you to know that I know."

 

"You. Don't. Know. Anything," Luhan informed, pushing the blonde boy with every word. "And besides, what if Kai were to find out you knew?"

 

"Who's gonna tell him? You? Go ahead. Do it. Now," Sehun pointed back to the building.

 

Luhan looked away.

 

"Exactly," Sehun laughed. "Doesn't matter anyway. He trusts me. He knows I wouldn't tell anyone."

 

"And why would he do that? Why would you do that?" Luhan crossed his arms.

 

"Simple," Sehun flicked Luhan's head. "I'm under his wing; I won't betray him. And he knows if I told anyone he was gay I'd be buried six feet under before I could finish my sentence."

 

Luhan rolled his eyes. He was always advert to the fact that Kai was a dangerous man. No one knew how sweet and gentle he was behind closed doors. If he wasn't angry, that is.

 

"But..." Sehun mulled. "Who's stopping me from saying Chanyeol Park's coach is a cocklover?"

 

Blood drained to Luhan's cheeks. He couldn't let that happen. Not even his parents knew.

 

Sehun watched the panic unfold on his face before laughing.

 

"Kai's stopping me, that's who," he said, patting Luhan's shoulder mockingly. "He cares for you. If I mess with you, I'm messing with him. Relax."

 

_Relax._

 

The word echoed in Sehun's mind as he kept walking. When it happened was unknown, but he suddenly felt himself being slammed against the concrete walls of the ring.

 

"Who the fuck are you?" Luhan asked, arm placed strategically on Sehun's chest. "You can cut the bullshit. Who are you working for?"

 

"I told you," Sehun seethed. Luhan could feel the faint thumping of his heart on his arm. Not as brave as he appears.

 

"I'm not stupid," Luhan told him. "There's no way in hell you're working for Kai. He's not stupid either."

 

"I just want to make it to the top. And Kai is the only one who can get me there. You and your little duo are never going to make it. Just give up. Really."

 

Luhan backed away, letting the boy off the wall. The blonde boy's eyes were dark and sinister. Almost dead, as if someone had personally sucked the life out of him. Really, he felt bad for him. He wanted to bundle him up and take him home, but at the same time he wanted to bash his head against the concrete. He didn't know whether to watch out for him or pray for him or both.

 

"Just stay away from us," he told him before heading back down the road.

 

Kai paced in a small circle, tapping his elbow. "He's just upset. He'll get over it and we can talk."

 

By now Chanyeol was hoping Luhan got far; he was tired to babysitting Kai until then. It was difficult not to punch him right in the face, but he held back. After all it would only set the ringleader off.

 

"No, Kai," Chanyeol sighed. "Get this through your head: You hurt Luhan countless times, physically and mentally, so now he's had enough and it's over between you two. Stay away from him."

 

He turned to exit the ring, figuring he'd just practice some other time. Behind him he heard frustrated screams and loud banging.

 

As he walked home, he thought about the boy at practice. He remembered their night together, and the seemingly insincere note he received the day after. Not once in their night of passion did Sehun mention he was a boxer. Chanyeol had told him, when he was pressed against his bare chest, that fighting was his life. That even though it sounded as though he was a wannabe tough guy, it really was all he had.

 

Why didn't Sehun tell him he was also a fighter? Why didn't he say he was the new rising champion of Seoul?

 

-


	2. pt. II

As soon as Chanyeol opened the door to his apartment Luhan stood from the couch and approached him.

 

"He's messing with us."

 

"Who?" Chanyeol inquired, closing the door.

 

"Kai," Luhan nodded. "I don't know what he's planning, but he's definitely got something up his sleeve."

 

Chanyeol realized Luhan had his coach hat on so he changed his demeanor as well.

 

"What do we do?" the giant boy asked, moving to get a drink from the fridge.

 

"I don't know…" Luhan murmered, thinking deeply. "I don't trust this Oh Sehun..."

 

"Why?" Chanyeol asked, looking at his coach.

 

"I bumped into him outside the ring," Luhan began, looking away. "He's... not right."

 

"Not right?" Chanyeol repeated, thinking back to their night together. He seemed fine then—distant, but fine.

 

"Yeah, he knows things that..." Luhan drifted before banishing the thought altogether. "We just have to keep our eyes open. And, um…let's skip the ring for a few days. We'll just practice at the park, okay?"

 

Chanyeol nodded though he wasn't completely sure why Luhan was changing their practice location. Maybe because of Kai, but Luhan didn't usually give things up for Kai, like the ring or his self-respect. Something was definitely up.

 

-

 

After class Chanyeol passed Jimin, who was still recovering from their fight a few days earlier, a purple bump situated slovenly on his jaw. Chanyeol tossed him a quick nod, the other boy looking away quickly.

 

Chanyeol sighed, heading outside before leaving the campus grounds. He needed an outlet to relieve his stress. Ignoring Luhan's previous request, he headed towards the ring.

 

The building was old—built in the early 30s—and only collecting dust. It was owned by the city, so the lights still worked at least. It was still used for boxing practice but not by official city teams, since there were none in their area. Only Chanyeol, Kai, and a few other underground groups utilized it, and they were all civil about their scheduled times despite the fact that they were all rivals. Having said that, they all united under a coalescent hatred for the biggest and most dangerous underground fighting ring in the country—run by a ruthless and ice-cold ZiTao.

 

Tales of the leader were plentiful, but little had actually met him personally. Not even the whole of his army had met him or even seen him in person. And maybe that was for the best as he was known as someone you did not want to meet.

 

Second to him was Kai, though he wasn't as hidden as the latter. He showed his face often, and made damn sure the people he met memorized it and feared it. Chanyeol, on the other hand, was at a loss of Kai Fear.

 

When Luhan first started seeing the ringleader, he was introduced to Chanyeol often. They were even somewhat of acquaintances before Chanyeol started getting into boxing. As his skill level increased, Luhan started to see real potential in him. He'd asked Kai to take him under his wing, train him, but the latter was having none of it. He refused time and time again, leaving no reason as to why. Eventually Luhan decided to use his equal knowledge of the fight scene to train Chanyeol. Within a year he began to dominate the streets. Within a year Kai began to abuse his boyfriend.

 

Chanyeol tried the door to see if it was locked. Luckily it was open, but as he entered he saw someone delivering an armada of blows to the punching bag. The person stopped once they heard the door creak open and the light from outside engulf the room.

 

"Sorry," Chanyeol muttered, closing the door quickly. The figured stood straight, removing their mouth piece. It was then Chanyeol recognized the boy once again that week.

 

"Oh…" he whispered—all his brain would allow. The other boy's eyes widened momentarily before going slack—the way Chanyeol best remembered.

 

"Are you supposed to be here?" Sehun asked, acting as though they'd never met before.

 

"Oh, um..." Chanyeol fixed his posture. "Not really. I just figured no one would—"

 

"Then why are you still here? Come back when it's your time," Sehun turned back to the punching back and resumed his practice.

 

Chanyeol was beyond confused, his brain unable to decide which action to perform next. So for whatever reason he found himself saying,

 

"You're Sehun, right? I didn't catch your name—"

 

"I am," Sehun sighed loudly. "Anything else?"

 

Chanyeol stood back, inadvertently. This wasn't the Sehun he remembered sharing his bed with. Sure, they hadn't really gotten to know each other personally, but they shared enough to get a general idea. And this was not the idea he remembered.

 

"You alright?" he asked before he could stop himself. Suddenly he remembered what Luhan said about not trusting him.

 

"What do you care?" Sehun laughed, wiping away the sweat on his brow.

 

Chanyeol's eyebrow raised. He then smiled, putting out a hand. "Hi, I'm Chanyeol Park. We had sex last Friday."

 

He caught the slight twitch in Sehun's lips before the blonde boy sighed and looked down.

 

"Right," he muttered. He seemed to be disappointed that Chanyeol remembered. But why would he forget?

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol bit his lip, the awkwardness between them growing. "Hey, I'll just leave. Come back when it's my time."

 

"No," Sehun said, much to the other boy's surprise. "You can stay. We can practice together."

 

"Really?" Chanyeol asked, a smile breaking through.

 

Sehun nodded, putting his mouthpiece back in. He returned to the punching bag, resuming their session as if he never stopped.

 

For a few moments Chanyeol watched him punch at a ferocious pace before ridding himself of his jacket and getting to work.

 

-

 

Though no words were said during practice, Chanyeol was content with how it went. He was able to effectively relieve his stress while simultaneously getting a look at his new threat's techniques. Much were like his, but other things were new to him, and he made it a point to try them out for himself.

 

"I'm gonna head back now," he told the sweaty boy breathing heavily on the floor. He didn't respond, only took a swig of water from his water bottle.

 

"Okay then…" Chanyeol nodded, moving towards the door. He put his hand on the knob, only stopping when he heard Sehun's voice.

 

"We fucked," the blonde boy said, scanning the bottle in his hand. "But that's history. Let's practice again soon."

 

Chanyeol looked at him, glancing over the sweat beading down his forehead and the sharp eyebrows underneath. He was being serious—not even a hint of a smile appeared on his face.

 

After a moment Chanyeol asked, "Why didn't you tell me you fight?"

 

That time Sehun smiled, looking down. "Maybe I was intimidated. Maybe I just forgot… the whole night is sort of blurry."

 

Chanyeol's bottom lip was sucked in between his teeth for a moment before saying, "Yeah—wait, intimidated? You knew me before?"

 

Sehun lifted himself from the floor before pulling his duffle bag up. "Your name gets thrown around. But I didn't know it was you until you told me you fight. Kind of felt smaller after I realized it was you; You're good."

 

Chanyeol shrugged, barely hiding his smile. "You didn't have to feel small. You're really good, from what I've seen."

 

"Well I've got a really great coach," Sehun added, walking towards Chanyeol. As he got closer Chanyeol saw an uncertainty in his eyes.

 

"Yeah, but the talent is yours."

 

He caught the grin Sehun sported before the blonde boy opened the door for him.

 

"You're coming with me, Chanyeol Park," he said, holding the door open.

 

"I am? Where are we going?" the giant asked, leading the way outside. The mischievous look in Sehun's eyes reminded him of when they first saw each other at the club.

 

"What else do you do on a Monday evening? We're going to drink."

 

-

 

The thought of Luhan worrying himself sick appeared in Chanyeol's mind before vanishing with the drink moving down the giant boy's throat. His vision struggled to keep up with how fast his head nodded to the the music around him. The drink had been one of many—so much so the boy lost track.

 

Beside him Sehun watched intently, a tiny shot glass twirling between the pads of his index finger and thumb.

 

"You're not drinking," Chanyeol concluded, his voice low and rough in reaction to the liquor burning his throat.

 

"Oh," Sehun realized, looking down at the glass waiting between his fingers. He brought it to his lips and gulped down, cringing afterword. "Damn."

 

"You've barely had anything," Chanyeol managed without slurring. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're trying to get me drunk."

 

Sehun smirked, shaking his head. "I don't need to get you drunk..."

 

Chanyeol smiled shyly. He grew very interested by this boy he'd met only a few days ago and was just really starting to get to know. There was a quite obvious air of mystery about him that seemed impossible to crack. In addition, he seemed to always be switching roles between Boy That Doesn't Care and Boy That Wants To Be Cared About.

 

"Are you sure?" Chanyeol teased, glancing over the blonde boy. "I was a little drunk that Friday..."

 

"Ah, this kid, really.." Sehun murmured, lifting an arm threateningly.

 

Chanyeol chuckled, pleased with himself. He ordered another round before his head started spinning and he found himself moshing around on the dancefloor.

 

Though surrounded by sweaty strangers practically rubbing up against him, he felt relaxed and alive. The thoughts that consumed him all day seemed to drip away as he jumped around, screaming and sweating with those around him. He'd done this dozens of times and yet it still felt just as good the first.

 

He almost didn't notice when Sehun inserted himself between him and the rest of the crowd. The blonde boy stood still, among sporadic bodies, and stared at Chanyeol as he lost himself in the music. When the giant boy noticed this, he took Sehun's hands and coaxed him to dance with him. Though hesitant, he eventually gave in and moshed around with his new acquaintance.

 

It could have been minutes or hours that they spent in that crowd, dancing and enjoying each others company. For Chanyeol, seeing that excited smile on Sehun's usually stern face was like a breath of fresh air. Even in his drunk haze, the image was burned in his mind, crystal clear. It brought a sense of peace inside him that he didn't know he could have. Knowing he could make someone like Serious Oh Sehun laugh and smile in a room full of clingy and sweaty people made him feel so accomplished and proud. And when Sehun suddenly broke down in tears, he wondered if he would ever see that excited smile again.

 

"Are you okay?" Chanyeol stopped, holding the sobbing boy still.

 

"Don't touch me!" Sehun yelled, shrugging him off and weaving through the crowd. Chanyeol followed, trying to keep him in focus against the crowd around them. His tipsiness did not help in doing so.

 

Behind him, he could faintly hear the blonde boy yelling at himself… scattered mutterings about it being "not right" or "just wrong".

 

 

"Sehun!" Chanyeol yelled, trying to catch up to the boy. The bodies before him all started to swirl together, not a thing distinguishable in the big mess of people and lights and voices.

 

The boy sprinted forward, hiding his sobs in his hands. He made a few turns before running out the back door, confident he lost the giant boy he came with.

 

Looking down, he saw his hands shaking.

 

"Please," he whispered, shaking out his trembling fingers. " _Stop_."

 

-

 

"Are you at the usual place?" Luhan asked, slipping on his shoes.

 

"Ah, yeah," Chanyeol slurred, barely able to hold up his phone. "Luhannie, I'm gonna sit on the floor."

 

Luhan scoffed, pulling on his jacket. "Okay, 'Yeollie, you do that."

 

"I'm so tired, hyung," Chanyeol murmured, his bottom finding purchase on the concrete below him.

 

"It's alright, I'm on my way," Luhan told him, grabbing his keys. "If you're gonna sleep, do it by the entrance; there's too many weirdos out there."

 

"You're a weirdo," Chanyeol laughed, his head tilting to the side. "So, so weird."

 

"Okay, 'Yeol," Luhan smiled, just glad his friend was alright. "I'll be right there."

 

"Okay, Hannie," Chanyeol cooed, hanging up.

 

Luhan hung up, smiling at his phone.

 

"This guy," he muttered before opening the front door, and stopping in his tracks.

 

"Luhan," the boy before him said, another boy smiling mischieviously behind him.

 

Like a drum, his heart pounded in his chest and he wasn't sure if his lungs were still working.

 

"Kai…"

 

-

The air grew colder as the night stretched on. Thankfully the alcohol in Chanyeol's system kept him warm, but he began to feel the effects of the temperature change as he waited outside for his best friend.

 

He tried his cellphone but there was no answer and began to worry. They didn't live more than ten minutes away by car, and knew Luhan wouldn't have been walking at that time of night.

 

" _Haaaan_ ," Chanyeol groaned, looking around. "Where are you?"

 

After an hour passed and Chanyeol started to sober up, he checked his phone for accident reports and found none prior to that morning. With a relieved sigh, he figured his friend was at least alright and he sent him a text.

 

**Where are u? Are u alright? I'm going to call a taxi so don't worry about getting me anymore. x**

 

After he was situated in the taxi, he started thinking more deeply as to all reasons why Luhan wouldn't be there to pick him up. And that's when the name "Kai" popped into his mind and he started to lose it.

 

**Are u with Kai? If u are pls dont stay with him. He's no good han. Are u safe? Please respond, im worried**

 

He tapped his leg anxiously as he waited for Luhan to respond. But ten minutes later, when he arrived at his apartment and got inside, his friend was nowhere to be found.

 

-


	3. pt. III

At 5:30 AM, the alarm next to Chanyeol's bed went off. He slowly opened his eyes before adjusting them to the screaming machine next to him. He slammed the OFF button, before sinking his head back into his pillow. He lay there for a few minutes before everything hit his brain at once.

 

School, practice, Luhan, the club last night.

 

_Luhan._

 

He shot up, almost falling over when his vision blurred and a headache made its way inside his skull. Ignoring it, he left his room and looked around. Everything was just as he left it.

 

"Luhan!" he called, walking towards his friend's room.

 

No answer.

 

He knocked quickly before pushing open his door.

 

Empty.

 

"Ah!" he fussed, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. He ran back to his room and searched for his phone under a pile of strewn clothes that reeked of sweat and alcohol.

 

_No new messages._

 

He sighed, leaning back on his toes.

 

**Luhan where are u? I'm really worried now. If you don't text back, i'll call the police.**

 

He checked the accident reports, local news, all of it. Nothing skimmed the surface of "Local Boxing Trainer Dies in Awful Untimely Accident".

 

He sent his friend one last text warning him to respond before hitting the shower, his phone rested at the sink.

 

-

 

"When did you last talk to him?" the policeman asked, jotting things down on a notepad.

 

"Uh, last night at around 11 PM. I was tipsy so I called him to pick me up. He said he was on his way, and I heard him grab his keys and everything but he never showed up. He's not answering his phone or texting back," Chanyeol told him, tapping his elbow nervously, his arms crossed over his chest.

 

"And there's no reason he wouldn't show up?"

 

"Well there's no reports about him… Wait! He has this ex who is very dangerous. He hurts him, like really hits him, and they broke up a few days ago. I bet he knows where Luhan is. He probably… oh, god..."

 

"Hey, it's alright, we can't jump to any conclusions," the policeman told him, patting his shoulder gently. "If this guy is dangerous like you say, I'm sure he wouldn't leave you, someone who can identify him, to stay and call the police."

 

Chanyeol nodded, wiping away his tears.

 

"What's this man's name?"

 

Chanyeol contemplated divulging the ring leader's name, not out of fear of him but fear of what would happen to Luhan if he found out.

 

"Uh," he murmured.

 

"It's okay, you're safe," the policeman said and it sounded like routine. Like he'd said it a hundred times before. An empty set of words.

 

"Kai," Chanyeol told him. "He goes by Kai, that's all I know."

 

"You don't know where he may live or what he does for a living?"

 

Chanyeol shook his head, feeling odd for lying to an esteemed officer of the law. "He goes by Kai, that's all I know."

 

The officer nodded, jotting more things down. "Alright, we're going to put this in the system and put out an APB. Then, if he doesn't show up after twenty-four hours we'll organize a search part—"

 

"What the…" a voice asked, opening the front door. The officer and Chanyeol turned to the door and the giant boy almost felt himself faint.

 

"Luhan!" he called, looking over his friend for any cuts or bruises. There were none, only the fading bruise under his eye. But there was a boy behind him, a hand placed firmly on the older boy's waist.

 

Kai.

 

Chanyeol felt blood rush to his cheeks as his hands curled into fists.

 

"Sorry officer," he managed to say. "Looks like it was a false alarm."

 

The officer looked between the three before settling his eyes on Chanyeol.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

Chanyeol nodded. "Yeah. Sorry for wasting your time."

 

The officer bowed respectfully, closing his notepad.

 

"If anything else happens, you know who to call."

 

Chanyeol nodded, bowing as the policeman left the apartment. He closed the door carefully before slowly turning around and facing the couple before him.

 

"What just..." Luhan looked up at Kai, who was trying his very hardest not to smirk. "But, you said your guy was going to pick him up and tell him I was fine." He reached into his pocket and opened his phone, eyes widening at the worried texts from Chanyeol.

 

"I guess he picked up the wrong guy," Kai said, voice far from sorry. In fact drowning in amusement.

 

"What the hell happened?!" Chanyeol exploded, his rage from seeing Kai touching his best friend coming out.

 

Luhan sighed, knowing he was in for it.

 

"It's a long—"

 

"I thought you were dead, Han. I was worried sick. I thought this bastard did something to you but now you show up here with his arm on your waist? I thought it was over between you two? Didn't I say it wouldn't be over? Can't you see he's only going to hurt you again? How can you be so stupid?"

 

"Hey!" Kai yelled, removing his arm. "Don't you think that's enough?"

 

"I deserve it," Luhan said, holding Kai back with his hand. "I should've made sure you knew I was safe. I'm sorry."

 

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Chanyeol told him. "You should be apologizing to yourself for bringing this asshole back into your life. Have fun now because I can't pick you back up later."

 

With that, he left the apartment and headed for the ring.

 

///

 

"Kai…" Luhan whispered, clutching his keys in his hands.

 

"Luhan," Kai repeated, fixing his posture. He was dressed in a black tuxedo, his hair slicked back. He looked as though he'd just had dinner with the president—though the last thing Kai would want would be to be in a room full of police officers and worse-yet, politicians.

 

Luhan looked between him and his apprentice, fingertips cold and numb from the fear beginning to take over.

 

"Come out with me," Kai told him, eyes pleading. "We really should talk. I have to make things right, even if you don't take me back. I'll have Chanyeol picked up and brought home safely. You were going to get him right?"

 

Luhan said nothing, only looked at the boy before him, really making an effort.

 

"Is he at that club you usually go to?" Kai asked, tilting his head.

 

_What do I do? Luhan thought. Chanyeol would want me to slam the door… But I have to pick him up, and Kai definitely won't leave. Maybe… he's being sincere? Isn't it best for us to talk? Ah, why me…_

 

"Luhan, I know you're scared…" Kai said. "But, it's me."

 

Luhan continued to stay nothing, searching the younger boy's face for any clue as to what to do.

 

"Luhan," Kai started, his voice lower and more gentle. "If you want me to leave, I will. If you never want to see me again, I'll give that to you. But _please_ , Han… let me have one last night with you. Let me apologize and tell you everything you want to know. I'm ready to do that."

 

Luhan looked down, contemplating what to do. Kai was giving him a _choice_ this time instead of hauling him off without a word.

 

"I know I haven't been easy to deal with, and I'm surprised you didn't leave sooner. It just shows how much faith you had in me and I'm really grateful for that, even if I didn't show it. I want to be able to tell you everything you want to know and at least give you an explanation as to why my mood changed so much. So, can you please come out with me? Can we really talk?"

 

Luhan saw the sincerely in Kai's eyes and he could see the boy really wanted this night with him. What else could he do?

 

"Make sure Chanyeol gets here safely."

 

-

 

"What is this?" Luhan asked, looking over the limousine that waited for them outside.

 

"What? It's a limo," Kai smiled, opening the door. "You don't like it?"

 

"It's too flashy," Luhan told him, feeling his fingers regain warmth as he started to feel more at ease. "Let's walk instead."

 

_While there are witnesses._

 

"It's protection," Kai admitted, gesturing inside the stretched-out vehicle. "Especially at this time of night. And, where we're going? We can't just show up in any old car."

 

Luhan crossed his arms. "I hate fancy restaurants. You know that."

 

Kai smiled. "Trust me, would you?"

 

"Trust is earned, not given," Luhan told him before climbing inside.

 

-

 

"Is your eye okay?" Kai murmured from where he sat in the limo.

 

Luhan looked down at his hands before bringing his gaze back up out the window. "It's healing."

 

"You know I'm sorry for that... right?" Kai asked, looking up the boy next to him.

 

"You're always sorry to me," Luhan responded, not looking away from the window.

 

-

 

Following a half an hour of silence, the limo finally stopped at a little shop-town, in front of a family-owned restaurant. A tiny little place that didn't nearly call for limos or tuxedos.

 

"What—"

 

"We're here," Kai smiled, exiting the vehicle. He quickly ran to the other side of the car and opened the door for the older boy, offering his hand as he stepped out. His hand was rejected.

 

"You thought we were going somewhere fancy right? Well, this place is still special to me. Do you remember it?"

 

Luhan gave the younger boy a suspicious look before analyzing the place before him. He took in the design, the aging brick walls, the hand-written sign that read OPEN. And after a beat, he realized where he was.

 

"This is…" he trailed, blinking away the tears that began to form.

 

"Where we first met," Kai smiled, looking over the place as well. "I was coming back from a match and my guy lost. I was so mad I walked the streets alone to clear my head. Then my stomach rumbled and I started looking for a place to eat. I remember stopping here, contemplating whether I should enter such a place or not. Then I saw you, through the window, talking on the phone while you waited for your order. You were so beautiful there, inside the shabby restaurant. Like a light in the dark…"

 

Luhan looked down, his hands retreating into the pockets of his jacket.

 

"I wondered why someone so... _captivating_ was here, in the middle of nowhere ordering food in an old restaurant at midnight. Then my stomach rumbled again. I wanted to go in because I was hungry, but you made me nervous; Nothing makes me nervous," Kai chuckled at the memory. "Eventually I went in there and I gathered enough courage to ask you what I should have. I'll never forget that moment because it was the first time you looked at me, talked to me, and even smiled at me. Even now I still feel this nervous excitement when you look at me, talk to me, or even smile at me. Even just being around you makes me feel like I have to be really careful or else I'll lose you." A slight tremble clung to those last three words as they escaped Kai's mouth.

 

" _Careful_? Were you being careful when you pushed me down the stairs? Or when you broke a glass bottle over my head? That sounds a lot like being careless, to me," Luhan told him, finally catching his gaze. "Did you really think you were loving me by doing those things?"

 

Kai knew the answer to that question, but seeing the hurt look on Luhan's face disabled him from answering properly. Instead, he gestured towards the tired restaurant ahead of them.

 

"Please come inside with me."

 

Again, Luhan was struck with shock that Kai was asking rather than telling. The words may as well have pulled his feet inside.

 

-

 

After a simple, inexpensive meal lead by Kai reminiscing on the past, Luhan felt as if he was slowly being pulled back in time, when he and Kai were young and naïve and just fools for each other. When Kai treated him with respect and consideration and Luhan had the courage to tell him when he wasn't acting accordingly. Like a slow rumble of memories just lying beneath the surface of where they were now. Needless to say, Luhan was beyond relieved.

 

"Thank you again," Kai bowed to the elder couple behind the front counter. They smiled happily as he and Luhan left the restaurant.

 

"Hungry?" Kai asked leading them down the street.

 

Luhan scoffed, giving the other boy a look.

 

"For dessert, I mean," Kai winked, pointing to the ice cream shop a few feet away.

 

It was then Luhan realized Kai had done that the night they met.

 

"Oh," he muttered. "I don't know, it's late."

 

"Okay," Kai nodded. "Then can I make a deal with you instead?"

 

Luhan saw the nervous look on Kai's face and he was skeptical. "A deal?"

 

"If you let me buy you ice cream, I'll answer any questions you have for me," Kai told him, biting his lip there-after.

 

"Weren't you going to do that anyway?" Luhan crossed his arms.

 

"Ah, come on. Everything comes with conditions. Luckily for you yours is creamy and delicious," Kai smiled, genuinely _smiled_ , and nodded his head once more towards the ice cream shop.

 

For the third time that night Luhan wondered why he'd given in to Kai.

 

With a chocolate/vanilla swirl in hand, Luhan wracked his brain for which question to ask first. He'd asked himself so many while he and Kai were together but at the moment he was coming up blank. Perhaps he was just as nervous for the answer as the younger boy.

 

Finally he decided on, "What changed?"

 

"Huh?" Kai asked, taking a lick of his chocolate ice cream cone. It was clear he wouldn't make eye contact from that point on.

 

"What changed? What happened to you?" Luhan clarified. "We were fine—perfect, even. Then you just... snapped."

 

They continued down the street. Kai took a few more licks before gathering up his words.

 

"I guess the stress of it all," he admitted. "The ring, the training, ZiTao's men getting on my ass about bets. I usually loved that—being busy and biting off more than I could chew. And when it wasn't so easy, you were always there. And then you weren't there…"

 

"What?" Luhan croaked. When had he not been there?

 

Kai shrugged, lowering his cone. Though he'd claimed to be ready to discuss his feelings, it proved to still be an uncomfortable process. "I really needed you, and you were always with Chanyeol."

 

Luhan stopped short, his ice cream almost slipping from his fingers.

 

" _That's_ what this was all about?!"

 

"Hey, you asked—"

 

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!" Luhan yelled, forcing Kai's eyes towards him. "You were fucking _jealous_ that I was spending time with Chanyeol? Do you know why I was spending so much time with him? I was training him because _you_ said no!"

 

"Why, huh?!" Kai asked, ignoring the chocolate now dripping down his fingers. "Why did you have to train him?"

 

"You said _no_! He's my best friend, am I supposed to leave him in the wind?!"

 

“I’m your boyfriend! Do I not mean as much to you as Chanyeol?”

 

“You are _not_ my boyfriend,” Luhan grimaced before throwing his ice cream in the near-by trash. With his emotions running full-force he moved faster down the street, leaving Kai behind him.

 

"Where are you going?" Kai called behind him, leaving his ice cream less considerably on the floor. "Luhan, please!"

 

The ringleader attempted to catch up to him but running was difficult in the stiff tuxedo he was sporting. And when it was clear Luhan wouldn't stop for him, he acquiesced to the question he was long avoiding.

 

"Do you want to know why I hit you?" he called, panting for air. "I did it on purpose. Don't you want to know why?"

 

Luhan stopped cold, his back facing the younger boy behind him. Like clockwork, the fear that inched its way through his chest whenever Kai was around came back, claiming Luhan as its own.

 

Kai backed away, knowing the effect his words would take.

 

"Luhan," he started, subconsciously fixing his tie. "I love you. You may not know that. At least not anymore, but I do. More than anyone I've ever known. The things I would do for you, they really scare me because I know there's no limit. And I can't explain to you or even myself why I'm so lost for you. But I am. And at this moment I want to admit to you, finally, why I'm so destructive. You deserve at least that much."

 

At the sound of the crack in Kai's voice, Luhan felt himself turn around. His heart pounding a million miles a minute.

 

"Ever since I could remember, I've never been able to deal with things. I can't handle my feelings or anyone elses. I have no patience for people and I try my hardest not to let people affect me. Every day I wake up, put on a mask and go about my day. And when I met you, you immediately saw right through it all and for the life of me I can't figure out how. But you did. And you were so difficult to unlock, and I'm sure I was too."

 

Luhan scoffed, unaware of the warm tears that rolled down his red-tinted cheeks.

 

"This is going to piss you off, enrage you even, but it's the truth," he took a deep breath, blinking hard to erase the tears that dared form behind his eyelids. "Right around the time when I started losing it, you asked me countless times to take Chanyeol in, train him, right?"

 

Luhan sighed, his eyelids heavy on his face. "Kai…"

 

"Me and him have never gotten along, have we?"

 

The older boy shook his head.

 

"Right," Kai nodded. "At that time we went to Jeju Island for your birthday and on that night, when you left us to spend time together, we had a talk."

 

"Where is this going?" Luhan said, seeing the thin layer of frustration on Kai's face as he recalled the memory.

 

"Maybe you didn't know, but he loves you, Han. Very much."

 

"Of course he does, we're—"

 

"No," Kai shook his head. "He _loves_ you, Han."

 

A puff of air invaded Luhan's mouth in a gasp, his eyes lifting at the words.

 

_He can't._

 

"I knew it from the start," Kai told him. "And at Jeju, in his tipsy state, he told me himself. He told me he was giving you to me. Said he wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn't with him. And the next morning he told me not to say a word to you. Normally I wouldn't take his orders, but I was so selfish and I knew how close you two were and I really didn't want to tell you.

 

"I don't know how he feels now, but back then he was so crazy about you. I didn't train him for that reason. I didn't like him for that reason. I hated you two spending so much time together for that reason. And as mentioned earlier, I'm not good at dealing with things. I took"—Kai stopped to take a breath, a way to stop his sobs from escaping–"I took it out on you and that was the last thing I ever should have done. And I'm so _fucking sorry_ , Han. Do you know that?"

 

Kai's words were a low buzz in Luhan's ears, his brain becoming a static mess, trying to piece it all together.

 

Chanyeol?Love

Me?Chanyeol?

Love?Chanyeol? _Me?_

 

"Luhan," Kai finally took three steps towards him. "I'm sorry you have bruises and scars because of me. I'm sorry you ever hurt because of me. Seeing that bruise under your eye I want to punch myself twice as hard because I love you more than I hate myself and the one you love should never be the one that brings you pain and...."

 

Kai's words fated out but his lips kept moving, just inches from Luhan's face. The boy saw pleading, watery eyes and red cheeks above lips that seemed to be moving faster than his heart and he couldn't believe himself when he thought,

 

_Shut up I love you I need you I forgive you just kiss me you fucking idiot._

 

"...and I know what I did is beyond words and it's pointless to ask you for another cha—"

 

Luhan's lips were pressed against his now, stopping his words in their wake, breathing in each one. His hands found solace on Kai's cheeks, the skin there warm from his nervousness. And Kai was far away, taken back so far away. Only his brain could believe it before his mind, and he kissed the boy back instinctively.

 

//

 

 

Chanyeol punched the leather sack hanging from the ceiling until his knuckles were white and the muscles in his hands practically begged him to stop.

  


_He's only going to hurt you again, why can't you see that?_

 

He let himself collapse onto the arena floor, hands resting in his hair. He felt like his head was an airbag just set off from an accident, adrenaline high and no way to escape.

 

"AGH!" he yelled, slamming his feet into the ground. " _Goddamn fucking Kai._ "

 

"Funny, I say that every day."

 

Chanyeol shot up, looking for the source of the words before settling his eyes on a blonde boy that went by the name of Oh Sehun.

 

"Sehun, what—"

 

"Do you always come to the ring during someone else's time? That's a bad habit, Mr. Park."

 

Chanyeol checked his watch, his other hand moving to scratch his head. "6:30 AM? Do you always come so early?"

 

"I'm here, aren't I? What about you?" Sehun asked, lowering his dufflebag before bending his knees to open it. There he pulled out his equipment and Chanyeol noticed a sliver of dark orange before returning his attention to the boy himself.

 

"Yeah, on weekends. Sorry," he murmured before picking himself up and moving aside.

 

"Why are you sorry?" Sehun asked, shedding himself of the jacket he'd been wearing. "This just means we can practice together."

 

Chanyeol took notice to the increased tone of Sehun's arms and suddenly remembered how hungry he was. This was confirmed when his stomach let out a low rumble.

 

He and Sehun shared a look and Chanyeol put his hand on his stomach. "Sorry, I think I'm hungry."

 

Sehun giggled and Chanyeol felt his abdomin burn at the sight.

 

"Tell you what, you practice with me and I'll buy you breakfast," he smiled at the boy just an inch taller.

 

Chanyeol thought back to his apartment where Luhan and Kai would surely be, and decided he'd rather not return there maybe ever again.

 

"Well, how can I turn down free food?"

 

-

 

After a two hour workout and a quick lap around the ring, Chanyeol and Sehun headed down the street towards a karaoke club that served as a "Breakfast Club" in the mornings. Neither one had been to the place before but as soon as they walked in it immediately brought a quiet feeling of home to them.

 

It was a fairly small place, complimented by large, clear windows, a wooden counter, and a set of five small tables. Much like a café except there was no scent of caffeine permeating the place. On the west end of the club was a small stage, microphone and speakers set up, with a little television screen propped up on a wooden stool. The karaoke machine, Chanyeol assumed.

 

There hadn't been anyone in the place save for an elderly couple sharing a sandwich and the young cashier behind the counter.

 

"Morning," he had greeted them with a tired, I-just-woke-up smile. His name tag read Baekkie though the two boys had a sneaking suspicion it wasn't his birth name.

 

Chanyeol ordered bacon and eggs while Sehun got a small, breakfast-sized container of Nature Oats and a cup of yogurt. They ate together in silence.

 

As Sehun neared the end of his cereal he decided to ask, "So what did Kai do?"

 

Chanyeol twisted the fork in his hands around before swallowing the idling food in his mouth.

 

"Being Kai as usual," he finally said.

 

"Hm," Sehun nodded. "But it seems he was extra Kai to you today."

 

Chanyeol couldn't help the grin that passed his lips. "He just… keeps messing with my life."

 

"Yours?" Sehun let himself say. He thought Luhan was Kai's target.

 

"Well, not exactly," Chanyeol mulled, putting down his fork. "My friend. He keeps messing with him."

 

Sehun thought for a moment. "How does that affect you?"

 

"Because!" Chanyeol said, way too loud for comfort. Sehun flinched and Chanyeol immediately felt bad.

 

"Because..." he said lower. "I don't like seeing him get hurt."

 

"Is he hurt?" Sehun asked, opening his yogurt.

 

Chanyeol looked at him, fiddling with the aluminum seal of the yogurt cup.

 

"I.... guess not," Chanyeol realized. He truly _realized_. There had to be a reason why Luhan always retreated back to Kai, even after all he had done to him. There had to be a reason why he ignored all of Chanyeol's warnings and stuck with the ringleader: None of the things he'd done really hurt Luhan. The boy knew Kai wasn't really the beast he was always proving to be. He truly loved him, which meant Kai must not be the total asshole Chanyeol thinks he is.

 

"I think if he's fine, Kai can't hurt him," Sehun mumbled, finally pulling back the aluminum seal.

 

Chanyeol watched as the blonde boy picked up his spoon, cleaned it off, and dipped it into his yogurt, mixing around for a bit before bringing the yogurt-covered spoon into his mouth, smiling warmly as the flavor spread throughout his tastebuds.

 

"I knew chocolate was a good choice," he smiled to himself, having another spoonful.

 

The coffee sitting in front of Chanyeol went cold long before his heart finally stopped beating so fast in his chest.

 

-

 

"Sehun," Chanyeol said as they followed the street leading past the karaoke club.

 

"Hyung?" Sehun replied, his hands settling in his jacket pockets. It was just under 60° F and would still be a few more hours until the afternoon, when the sun's rays would peak in and make them all warm.

 

"Wh—wait, hyung?" Chanyeol gave him a glance, eyes widening when he saw the content smirk on the younger's face.

 

"What? Are we not close now?"

 

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck inadvertently. "Oh, I j-just—"

 

"Relax," Sehun laughed, nudging the older boy's arm.

 

_Relax._

_Relax._

 

Sehun bit his lip, his happy smile now vanished from his face. He played with his hands as they kept walking. Thankfully Chanyeol didn't notice.

 

"Right," Chanyeol nodded, mentally hitting himself. "Anyways, I was going to ask... about last night."

 

_Relax._

 

Sehun massaged his hands, knowing the adrenaline was already inching its way to his veins and inciting another attack.

 

_It's alright, I have my.... fuck it's in my dufflebag._

 

He had left his dufflebag at the ring to come back to later on.

 

Chanyeol took note of the boys silence and figured it was his cue to go on.

 

"What..." he started, giving Sehun another glance. There he saw the blonde boy was standing far behind him, staring down at his hands. It was then he knew something was definitely wrong with Sehun, and he felt the need to protect him.

 

"Sehunnie?" Chanyeol smiled, walking back to his _friend_. "What was your favorite song they played? They usually don't play so much techno there. I prefer classic rock myself, but I can get down to club music. What about you?"

 

Sehun looked up at him, tears threatening to fall. With his eyes he said _Thank you_ but with his mouth he grinned and said, "I like hip hop."

 

-

 

It was night before Chanyeol decided he'd better man up and face Luhan. He and Sehun had properly spent the entire day together and it was nice, Chanyeol thought, to be able to take his mind away from the boy waiting for him at home and get to know the boy he was with now. Which was primarily that he had mood swings and some sort of condition with his hands, as he was always fiddling with them.

 

"You'll be fine," Sehun told him as he grabbed his dufflebag.

 

_Just fine._

 

"I was kind of harsh back there," Chanyeol admitted, hands going instinctively to rub his neck. "I've never been that harsh with him."

 

"Why were you so harsh?" Sehun asked, checking the inside of his dufflebag.

 

"I don't know," Chanyeol sighed. "I just really hate—I mean... Kai just really gets under my skin, and I hate seeing Luhan get hurt."

 

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you like him," Sehun smirked, zipping up his duffel bag quickly.

 

"Who? Kai? _God_ , no. He's so—"

 

"Luhan," Sehun said.

 

"W-What?"

 

"It sounds like you have a crush on your friend, hyung," Sehun shrugged, making his way to the exit. Chanyeol followed idly behind.

 

"I don't!" Chanyeol refuted. "That's weird. He's like a brother to me."

 

"Do you always like your brothers?" Sehun joked, stepping outside as Chanyeol opened the door.

 

"You're sick."

 

"Least I don't like my brother."

 

"He's not _really_ my brother!"

 

"Then it's okay to like him," Sehun winked, patting Chanyeol's arm. "See you, hyung."

 

"I..." Chanyeol trailed, the door slamming just behind him. He watched Sehun make his way back downtown, duffle bag in tow. He looked so independent, so fearless. Though Chanyeol knew there was something haunting him, he just didn't know what. He decided to shake off the feeling and head the opposite way—towards home, where Luhan would be.

 

_It's okay to like him._

 

Sehun's wink was replayed in his mind as he trudged through the cold.

 

Those days were long over.

 

-

 

"Hey, Han, I'm sorry," Chanyeol muttered to himself, pacing around the hallway. "Han, sorry about this morning, huh?… Hey, listen, Luhan, I'm sorry about this morning… Agh," he fussed. He'd declared himself an idiot before finally unlocking the door and going in.

 

"Luha—" he stopped when he saw the apartment was dark, empty. He flicked on a light and the whole place came into view. Everything was normal except for the open door on his right—Luhan's door. He approached the room and stopped when he saw a note taped to the wall. He took it off.

 

_Chanyeol_

_I'm sorry I didn't make sure you knew I was okay last night. I didn't mean to make you worry so much. I really thought Kai's men would take care of it, but they didn't. Again, I'm sorry. As for me staying here, you don't have to worry. I packed all of my things and I'm moving back in with Kai—where I belong. Please don't worry about me because I'll be fine._

_As for this morning, let's just forget it. I know you're just worried about me but I wish you would trust me this time. Kai really isn't who you think he is... and it seems I'm not who you think I am either. Anyways, let's just forget all of this, okay? Thank you, and I love you, 'Yeollie, you know that right?_

_Luhan_

 

_P. S. let's move practice to Friday at the ring._

-


	4. pt. IIII

The week went by in a blur of classwork, crushed coffee cups, and faint memories of falling asleep. Before he knew it, it was Friday morning and Chanyeol's alarm clock was screaming bloody murder. He slammed the OFF button and hit the shower, ready to begin his day.

 

On his way to the ring, his mind was brought to Sehun, his friend whom he hadn't seen since that Tuesday. He realized he hadn't even exchanged phone numbers with the boy he'd spent a whole day—and even a night—with. In fact, he never once saw the boy utilize a cellphone. On top of that, he had no idea how old the boy was or where he went to school, if even at all. He had to be out of high school if he was always practicing so early in the mornings and drinking so late on weeknights.

 

It was strange, the feeling Chanyeol received from these thoughts. It sort of thrilled him how mysterious the boy was. There were so many unanswered questions between them and Chanyeol loved it. It was like a new puzzle to solve every day—or, whenever they saw each other. That also excited him—not knowing when they'd see each other next. Though he had to admit he sometimes wished he could just go to him and talk for hours on end like the last time. A part of him was always wishing that.

 

When he arrived at the ring, he noticed a black car parked outside the old building. He checked the windows but no one was inside. He assumed they were in the arena.

 

He pulled open the huge metal doors and immediately saw someone standing there, hands in pockets, looking over some of the training equipment.

 

"Can I help you?" Chanyeol called, crossing his arms.

 

The person turned on his heels and Chanyeol struggled to keep himself from sighing.

 

"Kai," he muttered.

 

"In the flesh," he smirked, shrugging his shoulders.

 

Chanyeol turned around, hand coming back to the door.

 

"Wait! Chanyeol," Kai called after him, taking a few steps forward. "It's Luhan."

 

Chanyeol stopped, turning back around. "What about Luhan?"

 

"You have to promise to do this," Kai said, a weary look crossing his face. Like he'd been told more than he'd like to hear about the topic.

 

"Do what? What's wrong with Luhan?"

 

"Well," Kai chuckled, removing a hand from his pocket to loop a finger next to his head. "He's kind of crazy."

 

"What?" Chanyeol grimaced, fists clenching at his sides.

 

"He's nuts," Kai nodded. "He thinks if we talk we'll become friends."

 

Chanyeol let out a breath, relaxing his hands. "I thought he was actually hurt."

 

"He is hurt," Kai nodded again. "By you and me, that's why we have to do this."

 

"Do what?" Chanyeol inquired. "Where is he?"

 

"Sound asleep," Kai told him. "He's not coming. But wait, before you turn around and leave you should know that this wasn't even slightly my idea. It was all Luhan's. He really wants this, and I love him so I'm at least making an effort. What about you?"

 

"Heh," Chanyeol chuckled. "You love him? You sure have a funny way of showing it. Do you even know how he likes his coffee?"

 

"Two sugars and a cream," Kai told him, crossing his arms. "Do you know what his favorite position is?"

 

Chanyeol choked on the air coming through his nose, coughing afterwards.

 

Kai chuckled. "I know him just as well as you do, Chanyeol. Maybe in some different ways, but we both know him just the same."

 

"What is this anyway!" Chanyeol yelled, gesturing between them. "What are we supposed to do?!"

 

"That's the fun part," Kai smiled. "We're training."

 

Chanyeol's eyes widened, unaware the man before him could say such things to him. "What?"

 

"A dream come true, right? You finally get to be trained by me!"

 

"No," Chanyeol shook his head. "You had your chance."

 

"Me?" Kai pointed to himself, laughing in the process. "Luhan was right, you are a funny guy."

 

Chanyeol tilted his head. "I'm not doing it."

 

"Fine, you want Luhan to keep thinking you hate him? Be my guest. I'll have no problem with you two separating," Kai shrugged.

 

"Wait, what? He thinks I hate him?" Chanyeol felt his heartstrings being tugged at the thought of Luhan sulking over _him_ for a change. It was just heartbreaking.

 

"Maybe you two should talk about that later. For now we're training. There's a tournament in a few weeks and you're not ready. Hurry up, you're not my only client, y'know."

 

For the thought of Luhan out there hoping they'd just get along, Chanyeol walked towards the mat.

 

-

 

"Faster!" Kai yelled, just inches from Chanyeol's ear. "Come on, faster! Are you my grandmother? Even she could punch faster than you!"

 

Chanyeol pounded the punching bag until it began to swing from its place in the air.

 

"There you go," Kai nodded watching the heavy bag shy away from the boy. "Fix your back."

 

His back straightened, the tension in his shoulders decreasing.

 

"Aim lower!" Kai yelled. "You can't keep hitting the same spot!"

 

Chanyeol obeyed, moving his arms lower, but keeping his head high.

 

" _Feet_ , Chanyeol, your feet! Do you want to fall in the middle of a fight?! _Christ_..."

 

Chanyeol remembered Luhan telling him to keep his feet slightly wider than his shoulders. Chanyeol remembered Luhan.

 

Kai noticed Chanyeol's shoulders tensing and his punches getting weaker, but instead of yelling at him he tried a different approach.

 

"Stop," he said, crossing his arms.

 

Chanyeol gladly obeyed, panting hard as he rolled out the stiffness in his shoulders.

 

"This is going nowhere so I want you to do something that'll guarantee you improve."

 

"What's that?" Chanyeol sighed, gulping down the rest of his water.

 

Kai sighed. "When you're training or even in a match, imagine your opponent as me."

 

Chanyeol nearly choked as a laugh rose in his throat. " _You're_ saying this?"

 

"I know you don't particularly like me, so it should help if you imagine punching me in the face."

 

Chanyeol nodded in agreement as he lined himself back up.

 

"Three.. two.. Go!"

 

The leather bag shifted from its solid form to that of Kim Jongin a.k.a. Kai, deadly ringleader with a complex for hurting the only one Chanyeol held dear. He began punching.

 

"Shit," Kai breathed, watching as the bag trembled against Chanyeol's fists, swinging with each blow. Eighty tons of sand, water, grain, rags, and finely ground wood.

 

When the blows began to weaken, Kai stepped up his game.

 

"Luhan is mine!" he yelled. "Keep punching!"

 

"What are you doing?" Chanyeol grumbled, delivering a sharp left hook.

 

"He's not yours," Kai continued, tapping his chin curiously. "He may be your friend but that's all he'll ever be."

 

" _What_?!" Chanyeol yelled. The ghosting image of Kai on the bag was well covered in blood.

 

"He'll never love you like you love him," Kai smirked, enjoying the anger burning in the giant boy. "He'll always love me more even though I hit him."

 

"You better _stop_ ," Chanyeol warned, losing his focus and hitting blindly at the bag.

 

"I told him about Jeju and it only made him love me more..."

 

 _Jeju_.

 

Chanyeol's armed veered over and his fist collided with Kai's jaw, sending the ringleader straight to the floor.

 

" _Fuck you_ ," he snarled, teeth gritted together. He lowered himself over Kai's limp body and kept punching. " _Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you._ "

 

Crimson blood sputtered from Kai's lips and the image that layered the punching bag was now real.

 

Kai coughed, showing no fight for the boy bashing in his face.

 

Chanyeol stopped, mid-punch, and stared as Kai slowly opened his eyes.

 

"Keep going," he whispered, spitting out excess blood. "I deserve it."

 

"What are you talking about?" Chanyeol demanded, shaking Kai from his languid state.

 

"I don't deserve to live after what I did to Luhan," he admitted, eyebrows lifting with sincerity. Chanyeol could see the genuine regret in his eyes and suddenly Kai looked different. More fragile, more innocent.

 

He let him go, standing as Kai's head hit the ground. Slowly, the ringleader turned over and lifted himself up, touching a hand to his lip in order to examine the blood.

 

"Shit," he murmured, wiping the blood away on his jeans. "You sure have a mean right hook."

 

"Why do you do this?" Chanyeol asked, looking into Kai's eyes. "Why do you act like an asshole if you're really not?"

 

"If this is about telling Luhan about Jeju, I'm sorry," Kai told him. "I had to be honest."

 

Chanyeol shook his head. "It doesn't matter. I'm over that. I've accepted that me and him are just friends."

 

"Thanks," Kai mumbled, wincing at the pain in his face.

 

"It wasn't for you," Chanyeol told him. "It was for him. I haven't accepted you. I'll never accept you."

 

"Just as well," Kai shrugged. "I don't like you either."

 

"This isn't a joke," Chanyeol pinned a finger to his chest. "You hurt Luhan, and he may be able to forgive you but I won't. I'll always remember what you did."

 

"You think I won't?" Kai pushed his finger away. "You think I forgive myself? We're on the same boat, you and me. We both hate me and love Luhan."

 

He walked away from Chanyeol and headed towards the bathroom, ready to clean off his face. The giant boy followed him.

 

"What are you trying to prove then?" Chanyeol asked as Kai cringed at his bloodied face. "This whole ringleader business? Why can't you just be you—Kim Jongin—and settle down with Luhan?"

 

"You misunderstood," Kai told the reflection of Chanyeol in the dirty mirror. "I hate Kim Jongin. Not Kai."

 

"What?" Chanyeol looked back into the mirror. Kai turned on the water and ran a stray rag under it.

 

"Kim Jongin is the one with the hot temper and short fuse," Kai told him. "Kai is the leader, who helps young guys achieve their dreams. Jongin yells at them, Kai gives them advice."

 

Chanyeol watched as Kai dabbed the cuts on his face, the rag in his hand absorbing the blood that waited there.

 

"Luhan knows this," the man told him, and Chanyeol wasn't sure which one it was. "He knew from the start. He's the only one that sees _Kai_ above Kim Jongin."

 

Chanyeol looked away, fiddling with his hands before deciding to wash off the blood that stained his knuckles. "It seems like Kim Jongin dominates Kai sometimes."

 

Kai chuckled, ringing out the blood from the rag and leaving the cloth on the counter beside the sink. "I'm working on that."

 

Chanyeol looked at him again, his face now clear and bright.

 

"I'd like to be friends with Kai," he tested the waters. "But get to know Kim Jongin."

 

Kai closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and looking at Chanyeol. There were tears there that wanted to escape.

 

"I'm still not going to sign you," he said, holding out his hand.

 

Chanyeol laughed, shaking his hand. "That's just fine."

 

-

 

"What happened to your face?" Luhan called, running to Kai as he and Chanyeol entered the apartment. He touched the cuts there, as if they'd give him the answer.

 

"I fell?" Kai tried, shooing away Luhan's hands.

 

"Did you do this?" Luhan asked, looking at Chanyeol, who he hadn't seen in days—the longest they'd gone not seeing each other. Despite their short reprieve, Chanyeol looked different in Luhan's eyes.

 

"It's fine," Kai told him. "I deserved it."

 

"Why'd you hit him?" Luhan asked, ignoring his boyfriend.

 

Chanyeol brought his eyes to Luhan's gaze and he found himself without words. The boy before him was _angry_ he put his hands on his boyfriend.

 

"I was being a jerk," Kai told him though the boy paid him no mind. "Really, it's fine babe. We're cool."

 

"Why'd you hit him?" Luhan repeated, staring holes into Chanyeol's face. The younger boy said nothing, only stared back at him.

 

Luhan tilted his head, culling an answer from the boy.

 

"You heard him."

 

Kai looked between them awkwardly before saying, "Could you guys not? I mean, I thought I would love you two fighting but this is just weird."

 

Luhan's brows pulled in confusion from Chanyeol's sudden attitude.

 

"I want to hear it from _you_ ," he replied.

 

Chanyeol realized Luhan had his Coach hat on instead of his Friend one. This annoyed him.

 

He took a step forward, furrowing his brows. "He was being a jerk so I hit him. If you didn't want us to fight you shouldn't have left us alone together."

 

"I wouldn't really call it a fight," Kai added. "Just a little scuffle."

 

"I thought I told you not to touch him. Countless times I've told you to back off," Luhan responded, Kai as good as gone.

 

"Can't you hear him? He's fine!" Chanyeol pointed to the ringleader. "Don't worry about me hurting your precious boyfriend."

 

"Guys, reall—"

 

"It's not about hurting him, Chanyeol!" Luhan yelled, finally _yelled_ , letting out his anger. "It's about the two of you, the only two people I love, always hating each other! I left you two alone so you could hopefully work things out but I see now that's _impossible_."

 

Though he was yelling, it was clear Luhan was just simply _hurt_. Hurt by the fact that all his efforts to really complete his life were futile, and the two people he loved would never love each other.

 

"That's wrong, Luhan," Kai told him, causing the boy to look at him, finally. "We talked after this"—Kai gestured to his face—"And we even shook hands. I think we're getting somewhere. I mean, we drove all the way here without killing each other."

 

"Really?" Luhan asked as Kai recieved a call, face softening a bit.

 

"Really," Chanyeol replied. Luhan glanced at him, feeling more sorry.

 

"Yeah?" Kai spoke into his phone.

 

"Don't worry about me and him anymore," Chanyeol told Luhan, turning towards the door.

 

"Wait!" Kai stopped him, hanging up. "Got some business to handle. Watch Luhan, will you?"

 

"Me?" Luhan guffawed.

 

Kai nodded, giving him a quick kiss before slipping out the door. There Chanyeol and Luhan were left standing between each other.

 

After a minute Luhan asked, "Want some tea?"

 

-

 

"So I have a tournament?" Chanyeol asked from his seat at the kitchen counter.

 

"Yeah," Luhan sighed, sliding the mug towards him, steam coming off the top. "I don't know who your opponent is. But I know a lot of people are placing bets already."

 

"In my favor?" Chanyeol asked, blowing on the brown liquid before taking a sip.

 

"From what I've heard, yes," Luhan looked skeptical. "But it only means you have to train especially hard; we don't even know who you're up against."

 

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol said suddenly, the trivial small talk clearly not in his interest.

 

"What?" Luhan asked.

 

"I'm sorry I punched Kai, and I'm sorry I yelled at you before," Chanyeol said, standing from his spot. "I should've trusted you. I respect you more than anyone and I should've just let you make your own choices and not butt in."

 

A wave of relief washed itself over Luhan's face and the boy smiled. "I shouldn't have freaked out like I did. You two are just so important to me."

 

"I'm not done," Chanyeol told him.

 

"What?"

 

"I should have told you I love you a long time ago," he admitted, swallowing the fear that told him to _shut up now_. "At Jeju Island, I drank too much and told Kai something I'd been battling with for a while. But I want you to know that I'm past that now, and I don't want it to affect us."

 

Luhan looked away, keeping his eyes trained anywhere but Chanyeol's face.

 

"Please, Luhan," Chanyeol pleaded, taking the boy's hand in between his. "I don't want to lose our friendship. I know you don't want to either."

 

"Of course not," Luhan told him, catching Chanyeol's gaze. "I just wish you told me."

 

Chanyeol nodded. "Next time I definitely will."

 

Luhan gave him a look.

 

"With someone _else_ ," Chanyeol laughed. Luhan laughed too, and opened up his arms.

 

"Just hug me."

 

And Chanyeol did.

 

-

 

For whatever reason, Chanyeol had asked Luhan and Kai to join him at the club that night. For whatever reason, Kai had accepted the invitation. For whatever reason, Kai showed up with Sehun.

 

"Why is _he_ here?" Luhan asked sharply, sending daggers towards the blonde boy. Chanyeol on the other hand smiled at the boy's presence.

 

"We just came back from training," Kai shrugged, moving to stand next to the boy.

 

"Luhan," Sehun smiled, holding out his hand. "Long time no see."

 

Luhan shoved his drink into the boy's hand. "Leave."

 

"Luhan," Kai and Chanyeol said at the same time, except Kai was snickering and Chanyeol was serious.

 

"It's okay," Sehun said. He swallowed down the rest of the drink, sighing happily afterwords. "Thanks buddy."

 

Luhan's cheeks burned with anger. He was ready to give the boy a piece of his mind when Chanyeol moved over to him.

 

"Let's check out the lounge, huh?"

 

"Are you sure?" Sehun asked. "I think Luhan wants me to stay."

 

Luhan's lip pursed at the words. "You little sh—"

 

"It's okay, I think I'll stay with him," Kai laughed, shooing them away.

 

Chanyeol quickly pulled Sehun away by his arm.

 

With his client away, Kai was able to get more comfortable and rested his hands on Luhan's hips, giving him a hello kiss he'd been a little late for.

 

"Why don't you two get along?" he asked afterwords.

 

Luhan was going to tell him about their first encounter, but remembered his theory about Kai messing with him. So he settled for something else.

 

"He's Chanyeol's competitor so I don't like him," he ordered another drink and took a sip. "Sorry."

 

Kai shook his head fondly, pressing himself closer to the boy. "It's kind of hot when you're mad."

 

Luhan smirked against the glass in his hand.

 

"Why don't you two get along?" Chanyeol asked as he and Sehun found an empty couch in the lounge of the club.

 

"What do you mean?" Sehun smiled at him, actually making direct eye-contact. It surprised Chanyeol and even made him a bit uncomfortable.

 

"What happened back there?"

 

"Nothing," Sehun laughed. "Relax."

 

_Relax._

 

_Relax._

 

"It's something," Chanyeol rebutled. "You two met before, right?"

 

Sehun's smile had half the power it did before, his eyes becoming more cautious and stern. "Yeah, so?" he managed without his voice trembling.

 

"I..." Chanyeol decided it just didn't matter and that he came to just have a good time. "I was just worried, is all."

 

"Worried?" Sehun repeated, giving him a glance. "Why?"

 

Chanyeol shrugged. "I'm your hyung, right? Just wanted to make sure you're alright."

 

There Chanyeol saw a smile sneak it's way to Sehun's face. A natural smile that warmed his heart.

 

"Hyung," he mumbled to himself, looking down shyly.

 

"And another thing," Chanyeol added, taking out his phone. He quickly snapped a picture of Sehun like that, looking down at his lap while smiling contently. "If I'm your hyung I should have your phone number."

 

Sehun scoffed, looking at the blank space next to "Phone Number" in his new contact information. He took the phone and tapped in a set of numbers before handing it back to Chanyeol.

 

"Don't you want my number?" Chanyeol asked.

 

"Text me," Sehun told him, looking into the sea of men dancing along to the music. Suddenly he felt himself being pulled into Chanyeol's side. The boy raised his phone up in front of them and took another picture. Sehun was looking at him confusedly while Chanyeol smiled for the camera.

 

"You'll need a contact photo for me," Chanyeol told him, sending the photo off. Sehun shrugged himself away from Chanyeol's side.

 

"You weirdo, don't touch me," he said, looking away again.

 

"Twenty?" Chanyeol asked, looking over the boy.

 

"What?" Sehun asked, settling his eyes on Luhan and Kai at the bar, giggling and stealing glances from each other. His chest burned for a kind of love like that.

 

"How old are you? Are you twenty?"

 

Sehun stared as Kai pressed his lips to Luhan's head, pulling him in so his body was curled under his arms.

 

"Nineteen," he said just above a whisper. "I'll be twenty tomorrow."

 

"Really?" Chanyeol smiled. "We have to—wait. _Nineteen_? So you're like fresh out of highschool... and we...."

 

"I'm not a minor, so don't worry about it," Sehun told him, watching as Luhan poked his head up to press his lips against Kai's. The other boy kissed back happily. "I'm mature, aren't I?"

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol nodded. That was definitely true. "Do you have any plans for tomorrow?"

 

"If I said no, would you make some?"

 

Chanyeol nodded happily.

 

"Then yes," Sehun stood up and made his way to the crowd.

 

"W-Wait!" Chanyeol went after him, grabbing his arm when he caught up.

 

"Let go of me," Sehun fussed, pulling his arm away.

 

"Why don't you want to celebrate your birthday?" Chanyeol asked, genuinely concerned for the boy.

 

"Why should I? What makes me so special?" he cried, pushing Chanyeol away.

 

" _What_?" Chanyeol was shocked. "Are you stupid? It's the day Oh Sehun was born, the upcoming boxer of Seoul, who's funny and charming and weird and makes me excited to see him again every time he leaves."

 

Sehun felt his ears ringing, the man before him almost becoming a blur. Surely he couldn't have said those words. He _couldn't_ have.

 

"If you won't celebrate tomorrow, I will," Chanyeol told him. "Meet me outside the ring tomorrow night. I'll be waiting."

 

Chanyeol turned on his heels to leave but Sehun found himself grabbing his hand. When Chanyeol turned back around, the blonde boy just stared at his feet. Chanyeol tilted his head for a moment before putting an arm around him.

 

"Let's dance."


	5. pt. v

_"Daddy, look what mommy got me!" Sehun cheered, lifting up the toy car he'd just unboxed. He smiled brightly at the truck, a smile without front teeth._

 

_"What the hell..." the man murmured, examining the toy. "Why the hell did she get you this?!"_

 

_"It's my birthday," Sehun smiled again. "I'm six years old now. Look, I can even count to six. One... two... um, three....fou—"_

 

_"Who cares if it's your birthday? You don't see your mother throwing away money on toys for my birthday, do you? What makes you so special, huh? Aish..."_

 

_He threw the red truck to the ground, stepping on it repeatedly with his foot. Sehun stared as the toy was crushed to pieces, an odd stillness coming over him._

 

_"You think you're so special? Why don't I take out my belt and we see how special you are?"_

 

_"Please don't, daddy, I'm sorry!" he cried, covering his head with his arms._

 

_"Get over here you little shit!" His father yanked him up by his arm, sliding out his belt from their loops on his work pants. He lifted it into the air, ignoring his crying son as he steadied his arm and threw the first whi—_

 

Sehun woke with a start. His silk bed sheets stuck to his back as a thin sheen of sweat covered his skin. His pulse was racing and he couldn't calm himself down.

 

It was just after sunrise, and the orange rays began to peak their way into Sehun's room. He got up, searching for his dufflebag until he found it, kicked to the corner of his room, and opened it. He found the dark orange container with the white lid and opened it. He popped two pills into his mouth, swallowing hard.

 

It was his birthday. His twentieth birthday.

 

"I can count to twenty," he murmured to himself. "One...two..."

 

-

 

After pushing himself to run twenty miles, Sehun got showered up and opened the drawer in his nightstand. He looked for a moment before pulling out one of the three phones inside.

 

 _Unknown Number_ 12h

**[Image Attached]**

**Sehunna, it's your hyung. Here's my contact photo. Text back when you read this :)**

 

Sehun found himself smiling at the simple message before shaking it off.

 

_He's just a nice person._

 

He sent back a simple

 

**Thanks**

 

"Thanks?" Chanyeol mumbled from where he stood in the hobby shop. Suddenly he thought back to the morning after they'd met and went back to his place.

 

_He sat up and turned his head, hoping no one was lying next to him. And no one was._

 

_He thought he would be relieved. The whole, "Hey could you put on some clothes and get out?" part was always the worst and he was glad he didn't have to do it, but some part of him missed the boy he met the previous night. His hooded eyes and throaty neck invaded Chanyeol's mind as he went to go shower._

 

_When he came back to his room, he noticed a note that was next to his alarm clock._

 

'Thanks'

 

_Chanyeol flipped it over but the back was blank. Just thanks? Maybe the other boy wasn't as into him as he seemed. Chanyeol shrugged, throwing the note in the trash as he headed out the door._

 

Chanyeol chuckled at the memory before sending back a reply. The boy really hadn't changed at all.

 

**Don't forget tonight! It's gonna be great so really don't forget! ;)**

 

Sehun took a seat on his bed. He wondered if he really should go or not. What if Chanyeol just humiliated him? What if all along he'd  just pretended to be nice but really wanted to mess with him?

 

No, he refused to think that way. Even if those things were true, he'd have to stand his ground.

 

**We'll see**

 

"What?" Chanyeol scoffed, moving idly through the isles of the shop. "Yeah, right."

 

**You better ㅎ ㅗ ㅎ Trust me, it'll be the best!!!!!! Don't you trust your hyung?~**

 

"Hyung," Sehun smiled, biting his lip.

 

_No. He's not your hyung. You have no hyungs. Quit buying into his stupid games._

 

"But..." Sehun murmured to himself. He sighed, trying to set his priorities straight again. "Right. This is stupid. I shouldn't have even went to the club in the first place."

 

**No**

 

Chanyeol looked at the trinkets before his phone vibrated and he got the text from _Kid_.

 

"No?" he chuckled. "Hmph."

 

**Oh.. ㅠㅡㅠ... thats unfortunate. I'll just have to prove to you why you should trust me. As Luhan says, trust is earned not given!~**

 

Sehun bit back a smile at Chanyeol's cuteness.

 

_Cute? He's not cute. Get it together._

 

**Your friend is right**

 

Chanyeol bit his lip skeptically.

 

**Does this mean you'll show up? :D**

 

Sehun sighed, lying back on his bed.

 

**Bye~**

 

Chanyeol shook his head at the message, putting his phone back into his pocket. He continued looking at the charms and trinkets before finally finding the one.

 

"This is perfect," he breathed, picking it up.

 

Sehun tossed his phone back into the drawer, moving to tussle his hair afterwards.

 

_Don't go._

 

-

 

Before Chanyeol could even process, the sun was setting, leaving behind a sky of darkness, stars placed every which way inside, along with a single moon. He finished setting up before going outside and checking his watch. It was almost seven.

 

He checked his phone and found no new messages from Sehun. He sent

 

**Waiting for you :/~**

 

He looked up and down the street for a few minutes before stuffing his hands into his pockets, the bitter cold starting to take over the night.

 

As he waited for the blonde boy, he started to wonder about him and all his strange little tendencies. The tremble of his hands at times and distant look that controlled his eyes. He wanted to flat out ask, but he knew he couldn't just do that. He figured he'd know in due time, or maybe never at all.

 

_"Why don't you want to celebrate your birthday?" Chanyeol asked, genuinely concerned for the boy._

 

_"Why should I? What makes me so special?" he cried, pushing Chanyeol away._

 

Chanyeol tilted his head. The words were strange, wrapped in a sharp kind of tension. He asked himself why someone wouldn't want to celebrate their birthday, why someone like Sehun didn't think he was special, or at least deserving of a celebration. Not only that but his mood swings. They were so severe it started to concern Chanyeol. It seemed the boy was only ever really ecstatic or absolutely _livid_ , sometimes in a weird limbo between both. It was fascinating and worrying all at once.

 

"If you think too hard, your brain will implode," the aforementioned boy said, stepping into the dim outdoor light of the ring.

 

"S-Sehun," Chanyeol stuttered, unaware that anyone was even around.

 

The blonde boy nodded, lips sucked into a line.

 

"You really came," Chanyeol smiled. He took in the sight of the boy, tugged at hair and an unsure expression. He'd be sure to put a smile there.

 

"Happy birthday."

 

Sehun only scoffed.

 

"Come on then," Chanyeol said, pulling Sehun down the street.

 

"W-Wai... aren't we going inside?" Sehun asked as Chanyeol hurried him across the street.

 

"Not yet!"

 

-

 

"Why are we here?" Sehun asked, looking up at the sign above him that read "KARAOKE CLUB!"

 

Chanyeol checked his watch. "They should be done setting up now. Come on."

 

"Isn't this the breakfast place?" Sehun asked as he was pulled into the small club. Chanyeol ignored him, stopping only when he saw "Baekkie" pressing some buttons on a remote that was aimed at the TV perched onstage.

 

"'Scuse me, is it almost time for karaoke?" The giant boy asked the employee.

 

"Oh? Yeah, it's all set," Baekkie nodded, giving the two a smile.

 

"Perfect," Chanyeol grinned, taking Sehun's hand and pulling him towards the sage.

 

"Oh, but um.." Baekkie bit his lip for a moment. "Wouldn't it be more fun to do it when the place is filled?"

 

"Brilliant!" Chanyeol clapped. "We'll come back then."

 

"W-Wait!" Sehun told the giant boy. "What are you doing? I don't want to do this!"

 

"Wh—" Chanyeol started but was cut off.

 

"It'll be fun!" Baekkie said. He put out his hand. "I'm Baekhyun. My dad own this place. I've been here a few months and I've seen great things happen on that stage. You won't regret it, I promise you that."

 

Before Sehun could even utter a word, Chanyeol pulled him out of the place, leaving a small wave to Baekhyun.

 

"We'll be back!" he said, before pulling Sehun down the street again.

 

"Stop grabbing me!" Sehun fussed, tugging his arm away. "And we're not going back there."

 

"Mhm," Chanyeol hummed, leading them around the corner to a row of little shops.

 

"I'm serious," Sehun told him. "I hate karaoke. I'm not doing karaoke."

 

"Mhm," Chanyeol responded, taking a peek through the shop windows. He quickly scanned through the items through the windows as they kept walking.

 

Sehun sighed, relaxing his shoulders. He had to admit he was still hesitant about celebrating his birthday. He stopped doing so long ago, when his spirit was crushed by the leather belt of his father and his mother simply gave up trying.

 

"Where are you taking me now?" he asked, his voice taking a softer tone.

 

"Well," Chanyeol huffed. "You're the birthday boy, right? You've gotta look like one! Ah, here it is..." He opened the door for the blonde boy, giving him a bright smile.

 

"How are you so happy all the time?" Sehun commented. "Do you have a disease or something?"

 

"Yeah," Chanyeol nodded. "Happy Virus. I only get it when I'm with you so hopefully it'll rub off on you sometime."

 

Sehun stopped.

 

_I only get it when I'm with you_

 

"What?"

 

Chanyeol raised a brow. "Problem? Do you want it to be the other way around—you rub off on me? Aish,  _someone's_ gotta be happy here."

 

Sehun blinked the previous words away. "Why are you insulting me on my birthday?"

 

"Now you want to celebrate? Good, get inside so we can give you a proper birthday look." Chanyeol gestured towards the inside. The curious lady behind the counter giving them a look—probably for letting in all the cold air.

 

"What's wrong with this?" Sehun asked, looking down at his outfit. A light blue V-neck under a black jacket complimented by dark blue jeans and converse. Spectacularly dull.

 

Chanyeol simply pointed inside. "Get in there."

 

Sehun gave him a deathly look before entering the shop, bowing politely to the lady who'd been glaring at them from the counter. She shook her head in response.

 

After taking a quick look around, Sehun concluded that the place was not a clothing store. More like a dollar store.

 

"What—"

 

"What?" Chanyeol scoffed. "Did you think we were getting clothes?" He shook his head pointing to a row of shelves in the corner. It was popularized by birthday products. Sehun looked at the shelves, unkeen to the child-like birthday hats and balloons Chanyeol was hinting at.

 

"How's this?" the giant boy asked, picking out a silver cone with a white elastic string that read BIRTHDAY BOY on it. He tried the hat on himself, scrunching his nose when the string squeezed down on the skin underneath his chin. He resembled an overgrown child.

 

There, Sehun couldn't help but let out a laugh. An actual _laugh_. The sound erupted from his throat like a glass falling of a table, gradual and then bursting in pieces, leaving a loud crash. Like that, his laugh was a slow chuckle, escalating into a loud, broken laugh then halting as he covered his mouth with his hand. Chanyeol was paused by the adorable sound. And the fact that he hadn't heard more than a giggle from the boy before.

 

"Wait," he murmured, gently removing Sehun's hand from his lips. "It's okay to let yourself laugh. It's beautiful."

 

_Beautiful?_

 

Sehun looked down shyly.

 

Chanyeol relieved himself of the tight string and removed the hat. He then passed it to the blonde boy but he just stared at it blankly. Chanyeol sighed, moving to place the hat on himself. His fingers brushed against Sehun's cheeks as he worked the string around the boy's face. The string wasn't nearly as tight for Sehun's face, as his jawline was much sharper than Chanyeol's.

 

Sehun had a stern, expressionless face, and that made it all the funnier to look at him with a birthday hat on.

 

"It's perfect," Chanyeol laughed. He picked out a matching balloon and dragged the boy to checkout, paying happily as Sehun grumbled by his side.

 

As they left the store, Sehun pulled off his hat immediately.

 

"Oh, no you don't," Chanyeol shook his head, putting the hat back on him. "It's your birthday; show a little respect."

 

"To whom? You or me?"

 

Chanyeol pursed his lips. "Come on, let's go back to the karaoke place."

 

"No," Sehun stopped. "I won't. I'm not."

 

" _Trust_ me," Chanyeol begged, holding up his hands that were pressed together.

 

"No," Sehun shook his head. "I hate karaoke. I won't do it."

 

Chanyeol sighed. He had no choice. He stepped forward and pressed his hands on Sehun's waist.

 

"What are you—"

 

Chanyeol picked him up, throwing the boy's upper half over his shoulder and heading towards the karaoke club.

 

"Put me down! Are you insane?" Sehun fussed, swatting and pounding Chanyeol's shoulder. The giant boy ignored him, continuing down the street.

 

_

 

As the club gradually filled, Chanyeol found himself singing a few times but didn't really give his all until the place was packed and Baekhyun announced his special performance. It wasn't all that special, Chanyeol thought, just a message to brighten Sehun up.

 

"Hello, everyone," Chanyeol bowed, looking through the tables of friends and couples giving him their attention. "I'll be quick. I just wanted to say happy birthday to my friend, Sehun, sitting over there."

 

The people looked to the blonde boy, sitting with a frown at their table, arms and legs crossed.

 

"He doesn't like celebrating his birthday. I don't know why, but let's please sing him happy birthday."

 

Like clockwork, Baekhyun brought over a cupcake with a candle on it, and set it in front of the blonde boy. Sehun sighed, though on the inside he felt a strange warmth spread through him.

 

The room of people began their chant, bidding their stranger a happy birthday. And throughout, Chanyeol was the loudest, singing happily into the microphone.

 

Sehun bit his lip, suppressing the urge to smile at this boy he'd met not long ago making such an effort to make his meaningless birthday meaningful.

 

He blew out the candle as soon as they finished, pulling a round of applause from each table.

 

"Happy birthday, Sehun," Chanyeol added again before getting off of the stage. As another man took his place on stage and he took his seat next to Sehun, he noticed the boy's trembling fingers as he removed the candle from his cupcake. The blonde boy said nothing, only opening up a napkin so he could place the candle there.

 

Chanyeol took his hand in his, burrowing it between his palms. He looked at him, at the boy staring blankly at his lap.

 

"I..." Chanyeol trailed, unsure of what was in Sehun's mind. "I'm sorry."

 

Sehun finally looked up at him.

 

"Why?"

 

"I just wanted to see you smile," Chanyeol told him. "That's why I'm doing this."

 

Sehun took a moment to read Chanyeol's face, the sincerity etched between his brows and the worry layered over his eyes. Chanyeol wasn't just being nice. No, Chanyeol wouldn't put in the effort just to be nice.

 

_Yeah. Happy Virus. I only get it when I'm with you._

 

_Wait. It's okay to let yourself laugh. It's beautiful._

 

_I'm your hyung, right? Just wanted to make sure you're alright._

 

_Are you stupid? It's the day Oh Sehun was born, the upcoming boxer of Seoul, who's funny and charming and weird and makes me excited to see him again every time he leaves._

 

Chanyeol wasn't just being nice. Chanyeol had accepted Sehun as a friend. A good friend that he cared about. The first in Sehun's life to do so since he was a small child.

 

Sehun held his hand for a moment before slipping it away and turning back to his cupcake.

 

"Thanks for getting chocolate."

 

-

 

A pair of teenage girls crossed the street in a hurry, shopping bags clutched to their chests as they raced against the cold night air. Down the street they'd just crossed were Chanyeol and Sehun, making their way towards the ring. They'd been sharing a miniscule debate on whether chocolate is the best flavor for cookies and of course Sehun said yes.

 

"I feel like as a kid you dreamed of being Willy Wonka," Chanyeol noted, stopping their walk as they finally reached the rusted metal doors of the ring.

 

"You felt right," Sehun told him. "Owning my own chocolate factory? I'd be in heaven."

 

"You'd be in a hospital. Have you heard of diabetes?"

 

"There's no diabetes in heaven."

 

Chanyeol considered that for a second. "Touché."

 

"Why are we back here anyway?"

 

Chanyeol shot him a smile, pulling the door open and dragging the boy inside. The place was dark. Then light filled the room.

 

"SURPRISE!" Sehun heard. He looked around. There were Christmas lights lining the walls, and a small table with presents sitting on top. And in the center of the room there was Kai, Luhan, and a few of Kai's men who Sehun had been good acquaintances with.

 

"Yeah, happy birthday," Luhan mumbled, stepping forward with a chocolate cake, two candles stuck through it reading 2 and 0. "Make a wish."

 

Sehun almost didn't register as he looked around the old ring, just a few faces smiling back at him as Luhan waited expectantly. Chanyeol stepped up behind him, pressing a hand to his shoulder.

 

"Make a wish," he nodded.

 

Sehun looked at him instead, their eyes locking. Chanyeol saw his eyes water slowly before two tears escaped down his face. Sehun looked away quickly, blowing out the candles.

 

"Yay!" Kai cheered, clapping briefly. "Let's dig in."

 

Luhan dropped the cake down carelessly on the table, not caring as tiny bits of icing fell to the table. Kai picked up the small knife and began cutting pieces into the cake.

 

"Want the first piece?" Kai asked Sehun but the blonde boy shook his head. He decided to step away from Chanyeol and see his acquaintances instead.

 

-

 

After opening and thanking everyone for their presents (even Luhan's scrap of paper that read "You're old, congrats") Sehun was taken to a corner of the room where Chanyeol presented him with his gift. It was hidden nicely in small gift box.

 

"Aren't you tired of surprising me?" Sehun murmured as he took the box.

 

"Nope," Chanyeol responded. "Never."

 

Sehun opened the box and stopped short when he saw a necklace with a charm in the middle. The charm was two red boxing gloves and underneath was engraved OH SEHUN. The necklace almost fell between his fingers as he ran out through the ring's back doors.

 

 _Relax_ , he thought to himself. _Just fucking relax, okay?_

 

"How can I fucking relax?!" he shouted. "I can never accept anything nice without losing it!"

 

"Sehun?!" Chanyeol called as he ran outside. "Are you alr—"

 

"No, Chanyeol, I'm not _fucking_ alright!" Sehun yelled, tears fleeing down his cheeks. "Do I ever seem alright to you?!"

 

"What's wrong, then?!" Chanyeol yelled back. "Tell me what is wrong so I can at least try to help you!"

 

"I am what's wrong, Chanyeol!" Sehun told him. "I have always been what's wrong. My brain is what's wrong. It's all messed up and I can't fix it no matter what I fucking do. I try to breathe, I try to relax, I try pills, _nothing helps me_. My head is full of spiders that I can't get rid of."

 

"Why?" Chanyeol asked him, and Sehun appreciated the absence of pity in his eyes.

 

"Because you're so goddamn nice to me it makes it worse!"

 

_"Why?"_

 

"Because I fucking love you, that's why!" Sehun admitted. "You say things to me nobody says and you treat me better than my own fucking father ever did and that makes spiders nest in my brain and adrenaline pump in my veins."

 

Chanyeol didn't have a word to say, a thought in his mind.

 

Sehun sighed as his back pressed against the brick wall of the ring. "I've done bad things, and I'm doing a bad thing right now, but you make me feel like that's alright because you love me and you'll always understand. But my brain doesn't let me believe that for more than few seconds before it fills me with doubt and gives me anxiety."

 

"I..." Chanyeol trailed. "I'm sor—"

 

"My father hit me when I was a kid all the way up until I graduated and moved out. He took all my achievements and smashed them into dust. My mother didn't stop him. I like to think that's why I took up boxing, but honestly I have no plans to hurt them. I just love the adrenaline I get from it; it's good adrenaline. And I love the _power_. Being stronger than your opponent is the best thing. Wouldn't you agree?"

 

Chanyeol nodded.

 

"Anyways, since this one time my father broke a toy truck I got when I was a kid, I've never been able to accept things right. I feel like any nice gestures or gifts are a big lie and it'll all fall apart as soon as I get it. It sounds stupid but—"

 

"No, it doesn't."

 

Sehun looked at him. "It doesn't?"

 

"It doesn't," Chanyeol told him. "It sounds like something you have to live with everyday."

 

Sehun looked away. "Well... it’s not just that."

 

"Tell me."

 

"One time," Sehun started, taking a deep breath. He tried to find the words but it was difficult, and he ended up sliding down to the ground.

 

Chanyeol joined him.

 

"One time I was stupid and decided to bring a boy back to my house when I thought my parents were gone."

 

_His father had been in the garage and Sehun was too invested in his partner to check the whole house. The two boys moved clumsily to Sehun's room, pressed together and rushing to take off each other's clothes. When both their shirts were off they fell to the bed and kissed each other desperately._

 

_"K-Kris," Sehun had breathed, breaking apart from his lips reluctantly. "I've never...."_

 

_"It's okay," the boy assured him. "I'll be gentle."_

 

_And he was gentle, moving slowly and constantly asking Sehun if he was alright, which he was until suddenly the door was swung open to reveal his father, red-faced and riddled with shock._

 

_Sehun pushed Kris off immediately, moving to cover their bodies with his comforter._

 

_"Father, I-I—"_

 

_"You!" he pointed to Kris, eyes wide and livid. He marched over to the bed and pulled Kris out by the ear, knocking him onto the ground afterwards._

 

_"Father!" Sehun yelled, his eyes filling with tears._

 

_"You think you can come into my house and pull this faggot shit?!" he grumbled, kicking Kris in the stomach. The boy curled in on himself, covering his head as he took the beating._

 

_"I'm sor—"_

 

_"Get the hell out of my house!" Mr. Oh picked up any clothes he saw lying around and threw them at the boy. Kris picked them up and quickly ran out to the front door. The sound of a car starting was heard before Kris backed out and drove away, never to return again._

 

_Sehun curled himself under the sheets before watching his father quite literally lose his mind. The rage he saw in his father's eyes was different from the one he and his mother were used to seeing. It was almost murderous._

 

_"I'm... I'm sorry," Sehun whispered, afraid to look away. "Father... I... I don't like girls. I'm sorry..."_

 

_The next thing he knew he was being pulled out of the bed, still naked, and dragged downstairs where his father beat him screaming, "It's wrong! It's not right!"_

 

"When my mother came in from work a few hours later, she saw me lying on the ground, naked and covered in bruises, and just kept walking," Sehun recalled, fidgeting with his trembling hands. "She said to my father, 'What would you like for dinner, honey?'"

 

A wry laugh escaped Sehun as he curled in on himself.

 

"I'm not..." he murmured. "I'm not sure why I told you all of that. I don't want you to look at me differently now..."

 

"I do," Chanyeol said.

 

"What?" Sehun looked at him, his eyes rimmed pink.

 

"I do see you differently now," Chanyeol explained. "I see you as stronger than before. Oh Sehun, who was a mysterious young fighter, is Oh Sehun a fighter who has overcome in the past. Now that I know the truth, you're even more amazing to me."

 

"Chanyeol," Sehun mumbled, "I don't want you to think I'm a good person. I'm not. I'm poisonous. I will hurt you."

 

"Stop, Sehun," Chanyeol told him, holding his shoulders. "Stop speaking so carelessly about yourself. Can't you see I don't care about any of those things? Whatever you might think about yourself, it's not true. You're so much better."

 

And then Sehun couldn’t stop himself. He broke a rule, a _huge_ rule. He pulled Chanyeol in close and pressed their lips together and _let himself fall_. He silenced the voice telling him to RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW and kissed Chanyeol even harder. He’d regret this. He’d regret it immensely. But he’d regret it more if he pulled away.

 

“Wait,” Chanyeol breathed, pulling apart from him. “I wasn’t just saying that, Sehun. If we’re turning into something then I need you to know that I meant everything I just said. I’m not just going sugarcoat things for the sake of your head. I want to be there for you, and love you the way you should be loved.”

 

“Do you really love me that much?” Sehun asked him, removing the snapback from Chanyeol’s head so he could tousle his hair.

 

“I realized the first time I saw your hands shake that we both need fixing,” Chanyeol admitted, taking Sehun’s hand from his hair to his palms instead.

 

“And what makes you think you can fix me?”

 

Chanyeol brought up their hands. “You’re not shaking anymore.”


	6. pt. vi

Sehun’s fingers intertwined in his lap as he sat in front of the desk. He willed himself to stay calm, to breathe, to think of Chanyeol, which wasn’t difficult in this situation.

 

A stack of photos was thrown angrily down at the desk.

 

“You mind telling me what the fuck these are?”

 

The blonde’s eyes lifted behind lids to the skewed photos before him.

 

_Me and Chanyeol. Walking. Laughing. Frowning. Kissing. The whole night. All of it._

 

He didn’t respond.

 

“Now your mouth stays shut?”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

A bang on the desk.

 

“Damn it, Sehun! You know what’s going to happen when he finds out. You know what’s going to happen to you and me.”

 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he lied. “I have a plan, I promise.”

 

“A plan? What the hell is your brilliant plan?! It better be full-proof if you want to keep your head attached to your neck!”

 

“I’ll date him,” Sehun looked up at his boss, Yixing. “Get his guard down. He’ll never see it coming.”

 

Yixing mumbled something incoherently in Chinese before sitting down at his desk. “You’re going to need a lot more than that.”

 

“Friends close, enemies closer; isn’t that your motto?” Sehun told him. “He’ll be so in love he’ll never be able to play me.”

 

Yixing sighed. He knew it wasn’t enough to get passed his boss and he knew it was bullshit.

 

“Boss, please,” Sehun begged. “I can’t turn back from this. He’s going to find out and this is my only chance. I mean, it’s brilliant, isn’t it?”

 

“Sehun,” Yixing peered into his eyes. “This is not a game. This isn’t some white lie you tell your mother. This is serious. Is there...something more going on?”

 

As always, Yixing could read him like a book. Granted it was his job, reading people.

 

“No,” Sehun lied again.

 

“Lying is trouble in this business.”

 

“Yes,” Sehun admitted. “Chanyeol...he’s different. He’s genuine.”

 

Yixing pushed forward a photo of them walking to karaoke together. “Are you sure he isn’t just being nice? You are his competition after all.”

 

“That’s what I thought but…” Sehun looked at the photo. Chanyeol was smiling at him even though Sehun’s face was cold. He pointed to his own face. “He can see past this face. He’s trying to, anyway. Not like the others.”

 

Yixing slammed his hand on the photo, causing Sehun to flinch. “Listen, Sehun! It’s cute you’ve found yourself a boy, but this is not the right one. You know exactly what’s on the line here. You need to get yourself together or else it’s off. I can’t risk my neck for you. Not this time.”

 

Sehun nodded though the words felt like sharp jab to his chest. “Yes, I’m sorry.”

 

“Now we need to figure out what to say when this gets to the boss. Not silly plans but detailed, irrefutable strategies.”

 

-

 

A smile glued itself to Chanyeol’s face as he punched the black bag. Luhan stood, arms crossed, and unimpressed with the giant’s performance. With the big match coming up soon he needed to train hard, and he was doing quite the opposite. Eventually, Chanyeol stopped hitting and simply hugged the punching bag, child-like giggles escaping him.

 

“Say it,” Luhan told him.

 

“Say what, Han?” Chanyeol smiled, patting the older boy’s cheek.

 

“Whatever’s got you all distracted today.”

 

Chanyeol giggled again. “It’s life, Han. It’s just so beautiful sometimes.”

 

Luhan deadpanned. “What happened with you and Sehun last night?”

 

Chanyeol laughed. “Ah, you got me! I can’t keep anything from you, can I?”

 

“Stop being weird,” Luhan said, taking a sip from his water bottle. “Let’s take five while you tell me everything.”

 

And there Luhan learned about Sehun’s jagged past and Chanyeol’s vow to help him through it. If he was honest, it made him hate the blonde boy a little less. He was still suspicious of him—didn’t trust him at all—but he felt that he got him a little more.

 

“So you two are a thing now?” Luhan murmured.

 

Chanyeol wrapped an arm around him. “Why the long face?”

 

“I just… I get a bad vibe from him. I always have,” Luhan admitted. “You know that day we saw Kai in the ring after I ended it with him?”

 

“Yes, I remember you running away,” Chanyeol nudged him.

 

“Well, I met Sehun then. Bumped into him, actually.”

 

_"Who the fuck are you?" Luhan asked, arm placed strategically on Sehun's chest. "You can cut the bullshit. Who are you working for?"_

 

_"I told you," Sehun seethed. Luhan could feel the faint thumping of his heart on his arm. Not as brave as he appears._

 

_"I'm not stupid," Luhan told him. "There's no way in hell you're working for Kai. He's not stupid either."_

 

_"I just want to make it to the top. And Kai is the only one who can get me there. You and your little duo are never going to make it. Just give up. Really."_

 

_Luhan backed away, letting the boy off the wall. The blonde boy's eyes were dark and sinister. Almost dead, as if someone had personally sucked the life out of him._

 

After a pause, Chanyeol turned back to the punching bag. “He’s not like that. He’s different.”

 

“But, Chan—”

 

“Let’s practice. For real this time.”

 

-

 

Weeks of intense, short-interval practices rolled by and Chanyeol was sure he’d sweat enough to fill an ocean. Luhan worked him harder than ever before, for quite literally the fight of his life. It would be taken place in a secret location—one that no one would even know until the actual day itself. No one knew who their opponents were, which made it even harder to train. This was an annual event, highly dominated by the legendary ZiTao.

 

Chanyeol found that over the month he’d lost a lot of body fat and gained more muscle, something Sehun really enjoyed. They trained together often, learning new things from each other and building strength together. Chanyeol would find Sehun studying him deeply whenever they practiced together, mistaking it as an invitation for sex, but never regretting it after.

 

Soon the couple became almost inseparable. Whenever the other wasn’t practicing, they were walking around the neighborhood, eating ice cream, sharing stories, and other cliché couple-y things. Chanyeol even began to hold Sehun’s hand in public, something the blonde boy didn’t particularly like but didn’t object to either.

 

Chanyeol also learned new things about Sehun. Like that Sehun had been diagnosed with acute manic depression (bipolar disorder) when he was still nineteen, explaining his sporadic mood swings and panic attacks. He even told him the best ways to calm him down during an episode is to breathe deeply with him and possibly give him chocolate. This was kept as an important mental note in Chanyeol’s head.

 

Chanyeol also noted the shift in Sehun’s mood as his big match grew closer. Despite how close they’d been getting, he found Sehun becoming really distant again. Always busy, dodging his calls, ignoring his texts. And at first he just assumed it was his depression, but Sehun didn’t seem sad, he just didn’t seem connected. Almost like he was pushing himself away from Chanyeol. And with one day left before the big match, the fight that would make or break Chanyeol’s entire boxing career, he needed all the support he could get.

 

All morning the blonde boy had been ignoring his calls, not even a single text returned. After leaving class early due to stress, Chanyeol jogged down all the way to the ring, hoping to take out his nervousness on an old punching bag. But when he arrived, the door to the ring was wide open and when he walked in he found everything trashed.

 

Punching bags were ripped to shreds, weights strewn across the room, obscene marks of graffiti covering the walls. Chanyeol’s bookbag slipped off his shoulders as he took in the scene. Every last thing was wrecked, even the mirrors on the old bathroom walls were smashed.

 

Chanyeol wondered who would do such a thing before he saw the big “ZITAO” in dripping red paint across the stalls of the bathroom. On the floor there was a note. The giant boy picked it up and read it off.

 

_PARK CHANYEOL_

_1198-1 SEONGNAM DISTRICT, GANGSEO-GU SEOUL_

_11:00 PM_

_OPPONENT: OH SEHUN_

 

 


	7. pt. vii

In a bus filled with Kai’s men as well as a few of his best boxers, Luhan sat next to Chanyeol as they made their way to Gangseo-gu at night.

 

After spending the day cleaning up the ring with some other guys that utilize the place, they weren’t even able to repair a single thing. Everything was broken to pieces, and Luhan found that to be sort of brilliant.

 

“ZiTao is weirdly brilliant,” Luhan told the giant boy as they entered the city limits. “He destroyed the training place of everyone that’s fighting today. They’re all pissed about it, too. Which means they’re all coming in ready pummel ZiTao’s fighters, and that's what he wants! He wants them to be as angry as possible so they can probably fight to the death. Sick bastard.”

 

A subtle hum escaped Chanyeol’s throat as he looked out the window, rows of street lights passing by. The weather station said it might rain.

 

“Chanyeol,” Luhan sighed. “I know you’re upset about that little devil boy you fell in love with. I’m sorry he lied to you all this time…”

 

“I’m sorry he wasted my time,” Kai chimed in. “That little shit, coming in and pretending he’s some new fighter from Seoul. He’s been boxing his whole life in some far away shabby town, dominating every single opponent he’s ever had. He knows exactly what he’s doing.. And to think I showed him so many of my moves!”

 

“I never trusted him,” Luhan said. “He always had this sinister look.”

 

“I wasn’t even training him for any match,” Kai added. “He must have been infiltrating me for that sadistic Tao douchebag.”

 

The driver of the bus let them know they were almost there.

 

“Tao’s getting desperate,” Luhan rolled his eyes.

 

A single drop of rain hit the window and Chanyeol watched it slowly roll down.

 

_"Chanyeol," Sehun mumbled, "I don't want you to think I'm a good person. I'm not. I'm poisonous. I will hurt you."_

 

“When Chanyeol wins this match, he’s gonna use the money to fix up the ring,” Luhan told the other players in the bus, just like a proud mother.

 

“Hey, I can fix it without his blood money,” Kai told him. “I’ll make it good as new--no, better than new. With golden weights and genuine leather punching bags, the works.”

 

“Yeah, alright,” Luhan laughed.

 

_Sehun sighed as his back pressed against the brick wall of the ring. "I've done bad things, and I'm doing a bad thing right now, but you make me feel like that's alright because you love me and you'll always understand.”_

 

 _Always understand_ , Chanyeol thought. There has to be a reason. There has to be a reason to keep holding on.

 

“Alright we’re almost there, we all know our game strategies right?” Kai asked his boxers.

 

_“Do you really love me that much?” Sehun asked him, removing the snapback from Chanyeol’s head so he could tousle his hair._

 

_“I realized the first time I saw your hands shake that we both need fixing.”_

 

 _I can still fix you,_ Chanyeol thought. _I will still understand you._

 

“You alright?” Luhan asked him, carefully placing a hand on the giant boy’s shoulder. Chanyeol hadn’t said a word the entire day.

 

He looked back at him with tears in his eyes.

 

“It's going to rain.”

  
  


-

  
  


The matches were set to take place in the basement of an abandoned meat packing factory. Boxers even had to get through a few rounds in order to even be allowed in the basement, but Chanyeol of course beat his opponents within 2 minutes, allowing him and Luhan to get downstairs.

 

As soon as the two made it down there, they were shocked to see it crowded with men, yelling, screaming, sweating. Money was being thrown around and people were being hauled out kicking and screaming. It reminded Chanyeol of the clubs he goes to.

 

Luhan noticed it was almost eleven which meant it was almost time for Sehun.

 

“Hey, ‘Yeol, can I talk to you for a sec?” he asked, pulling the giant towards the relatively quiet stairs.

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Look, I know you’re probably feeling all conflicted and stuff, but I want you to know that whatever happens tonight, you fought like hell to get here, and you deserve to win. With that being said, I also want you to know that Sehun is an evil little snake and he played you. He knew he’d be competing against you so he made it it easier by getting you to fall for him. He--”

 

“He loves me, Luhan. I know he does. I know that part was real,” Chanyeol finally said. “I will always understand him.”

 

“Come on, ‘Yeol. I mean just think about it, he _lied_ about being a new fighter. He lied about being from Seoul. He probably lied about his little disorder and now he’s going to kick your ass and hand it to you if you don’t get it together.”

 

“Are you done?”

 

“Please, Chanyeol. Just think about it.”

 

Just then Kai came in, his face red from yelling.

 

“One of my guys is headed to the ER. But two of them won!”

 

“I’m so happy for you,” Luhan deadpanned.

 

Kai looked to Chanyeol. “ZiTao’s just arrived, army and all. That includes your little buttbuddy.”

 

That’s when the basement became silent as ZiTao and his armada came down the stairs, dressed in complete black from head to toe. Everyone of his fighters had a gold colored ZT sewed to their jackets. Including Sehun.

 

Chanyeol felt his heart pounding as Sehun descended the stairs and moved to stand with ZiTao’s men. It was real. Sehun was really one of his fighters.

 

“That fucking bastard,” Luhan murmured when he saw Sehun.

 

“You fucking bastard!” Kai yelled aloud, the only person daring enough to call out ZiTao. Maybe because they went to middle school together.

 

“Kim Jongin,” ZiTao smirked. “Pleasure seeing you again.”

 

“It’s Kai, you asshole,” the ringleader corrected. “You got a lot of fucking nerve to trash our ring. And to send your little fuckboy to mess with our Chanyeol. How low can you fucking get?”

 

Chanyeol didn’t even hear a word of anything that was said, he was stuck in time, frozen to his feet, staring down Sehun’s eyes. They didn't feel warm or understanding. They were foreign, cold.

 

 _Was anything you said true?_ Chanyeol asked him internally.

 

Sehun was blank as he watched Kai and ZiTao bicker. Chanyeol’s own eyes began to fill with tears.

 

“Let’s let the money talk, shall we?” ZiTao suggested. He signalled for Sehun to step up. “Both Oh Sehun and Park Chanyeol hold records for beating their opponents in two minutes. Let’s see if we can get that down to one minute, shall we?”

 

“Hell yeah, let’s do it.” Luhan told him. “Just give us ten minutes to prepare.”

 

“Deal.” ZiTao smiled a sinister half-smile, one known for being the face of death itself.

 

Luhan shuddered.

 

-

  
  


Sehun stood outside the arena. Yixing stood behind him, rubbing his shoulders. Just a few feet away he saw Luhan in deep conversation with Chanyeol, who was more than withdrawn.

 

“You’ve got this, Oh. Chanyeol’s a mess, you've got this in the bag.”

 

“He hates me,” Sehun responded.

 

“No, he’s heartbroken and feeling betrayed and confused. There's a difference.” Yixing handed him a pair of black boxing gloves, both patched with a golden OSH. They were a gift by ZiTao for infiltrating Kai’s ring so effectively.

 

“I don’t want those,” Sehun told him. “I have my own.”

 

Yixing gave him a look. “Better than real leather gloves?”

 

“Yes,” Sehun answered, pulling out a worn pair of gloves from his duffel bag. They were definitely not better than real leather gloves, but they meant more to him than anything.

 

“Uh, alright,” Yixing shrugged. “Are you ready? You sure you want to go through with this?”

 

“Of course,” Sehun nodded. He removed his jacket, put in his mouthpiece, and made his way to the edge of the arena. Luhan gave Chanyeol a pat on the shoulder as the giant boy stepped up to the ring as well, a different kind of look covering his face. A determined look.

 

“Are we ready?” ZiTao asked Luhan.

 

“Ready,” Chanyeol told him.

 

“Excellent,” ZiTao smirked. “Everyone, I bring you two upcoming fighters making their official debuts against each other tonight. The two have… a _special_ history together. Long story short, I think this should be an interesting fight. And as you know a prize of ten-thousand dollars will be awarded to the survivor--I mean, winner of this match.”

 

“Ten-thousand…” Luhan held on to Kai’s arm to keep from falling.

 

“Before we start, you two will shake hands,” ZiTao ordered.

 

The two bumped gloves instead, hostility and tension filling the room. Chanyeol began to wonder if Sehun really did play him. If Sehun made everything up; the disorder, the abuse, his love. If Sehun was just training for this very moment, staring each other down across a mat with uncertainty and a glint of resentment.

 

“The clock is set for a minute,” ZiTao told them. The crowd erupted in cheers. Betters were calling out both the boys names, each hoping they’d win their own respective bets. Luhan was just about squeezing Kai’s hand off.

 

 _Relax_ , Sehun thought to himself. He took two deep breaths before ZiTao announced that the time had begun.

 

“GO CHANYEOL!” The giant boy heard someone scream.

 

The two boys circled each other, already glistening with sweat from the humid basement.

 

Sehun closed in on him, faking a swing. Chanyeol flinched.

 

“What is he _doing_ ,” Luhan sighed.

 

“COME ON CHANYEOL! GET IT TOGETHER!” Kai yelled. Or Kim Jongin. Who knows.

 

Chanyeol shook it off. Only a few seconds had passed, but it seemed like the longest minute of his life. He was--

 

 _Bam_.

 

He collided with the ropes enclosing them inside the ring. Sehun _hit_ him.

 

He really hit him.

 

Chanyeol looked at the blonde boy with shock. This was serious. This was real.

 

“Please, please, please,” Luhan murmured as thirty seconds had already passed.

 

Chanyeol was done. Gone. He quickly moved to punch Sehun’s stomach, but swung his arm to uppercut him instead. The crowd was in a frenzy as Sehun almost fell to his feet. Chanyeol took the time to send a blow of punches to Sehun’s sides.

 

“TWENTY SECONDS!” ZiTao yelled. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OH?”

 

Sehun punched back hard, knocking Chanyeol in the face and giving him a bloody nose. The giant boy looked at Sehun. This young fighter who used to call him Hyung and tease him for wearing polka dot socks was going at him with no mercy, no hesitation. He felt like some dream he’d woken up from.

 

 _What am I doing?_ Chanyeol asked himself. _**This** is my dream, not him. This is my moment. I’m not going to lose to my feelings. I’m going to win this._

 

“I’m sorry,” Chanyeol told Sehun as he cornered him. “I can’t understand you this time.”

 

In a blur, his fist connected with Sehun’s jaw and the blonde boy was out like a light, falling unconscious on the ground. Men crowded around Chanyeol, pushing him and lifting him up, screaming for joy. In a blur, Chanyeol saw a necklace peek out of Sehun’s shirt: a charm of two red boxing gloves with OH SEHUN engraved underneath.


	8. pt. viii (final)

1:00.00

 

“Sehun!” Chanyeol yelled as they rushed the boy to the ambulance. He didn't stay for his grand prize or for ZiTao’s condescending speech about fighting through emotions. He rushed out of the ring as soon as the fight was over, making sure to grab Sehun’s hand as they carried him with a gurney to the ambulance that had been sitting outside the whole night.

 

The blonde boy was out cold as the emergency response team connected him to all different kinds of wires and machines. A paramedic checked to see if he was breathing.

 

“Is he okay?!” Chanyeol asked the team working around him.

 

“Breathing is shallow,” a paramedic said. “His heart rate is somewhat stable, so that’s a good sign.”

 

“Better than I can say about the other fighters we’ve seen tonight,” another added.

 

“Will he be okay?!” Chanyeol asked them, holding Sehun’s hand tightly. His hand felt cold.

 

“We just need to get to the hospital quickly,” the paramedic told him as they covered Sehun’s mouth with an oxygen mask.

 

“His heart rate is rising!” another paramedic yelled.

 

“Hurry!” the other told the driver.

 

-

 

At Sehun’s funeral--just kidding. Chanyeol had waited and waited all night before finally being allowed into Sehun’s room to see him. The doctors said he may be suffering from a minor concussion, but all they could do was wait and see if he wakes up.

 

“Apart from that and some bruising on his sides, he should be fine,” Chanyeol told Luhan over the phone.

 

“That’s a relief,” Luhan sighed. “You didn’t think you killed him, did you?”

 

“Honestly, I don’t even know what happened,” Chanyeol admitted. “I think I blacked out. It’s all a blur.”

 

He looked at Sehun lying in bed, face stern like he was mad in his sleep.

 

“I don’t really know either,” Luhan told him. “I really thought you were going to lose or give up. But something changed, and you threw the hardest punch I've ever seen you throw. But hey, at least you brought your record down to a minute.”

 

“Not exactly proud of that right now, Han.”

 

“Right,” Luhan chuckled. “What changed anyway? Why did you come to your senses?”

 

A purple and red bruise had begun to form on Sehun’s jaw. Chanyeol took hold of Sehun’s hand again in an effort to get him warm. “It felt like I had woken up from some bad dream. Sehun was just a different person than who I dreamt he was and I wanted to stop him. And the crowd was calling my name and screaming for me to stop him.”

 

_“Do you think he’s different?”_

 

_The boxing glove charm still poked itself from Sehun's shirt. “No. I don't. I just know it.”_

 

_“Even after all this time?” Luhan asked. “You sure love this kid.”_

 

Chanyeol smiled. “Love him? I--”

 

“Park Chanyeol?” a voice asked.

 

The giant fighter turned around and saw a man standing at the door. He was the same man that stood with Sehun outside the arena before the fight.

 

“Yes?” Chanyeol asked, lowering his phone.

 

“I’m Yixing, one of ZiTao’s guys,” the man said as he walked into the room. “I’d like to talk to you about Sehun.”

 

“I’ll talk to you later,” Chanyeol told Luhan before hanging up. He bowed briefly before they both took a seat by the door.

 

“What is it?” Chanyeol asked him.

 

Yixing sighed as he saw Sehun lying unconscious.

 

“I was his manager under ZiTao’s command,” he explained. “I scouted him, I helped him get gigs, taught him about the underground fight scene, and helped him get on ZiTao’s good side. After ZiTao approved of him, he gave him a special task, you know to prove his worth.”

 

“A special task?” Chanyeol asked wearily.

 

“Yes,” Yixing nodded. “ZiTao heard that Kai had been taking a lot of new fighters under his wing and training them, so with this match coming up and them being natural enemies, he decided to send Sehun in to infiltrate Kai’s ring and learn everything he could. That was it, Chanyeol. That was the whole mission.”

 

“T-That’s it?”

 

“That’s it,” Yixing told him. “But, we had some of our guys take pictures of him everyday. These pictures, of course, included you and all of your affairs with Sehun. That's really when things got complicated.”

 

Yixing pulled out a stack of photos from the inside of his suit jacket and handed them over to Chanyeol. It was all there.

 

“ZiTao got a hold of this and we had to act fast or else it would seem like Sehun was faltering from his mission. We told ZiTao you were one of Kai’s trainees and that Sehun was trying to get you to fall for him so he could beat you in the match. Luckily, ZiTao believed us and picked you as Sehun’s opponent.”

 

Chanyeol flipped through the pictures quickly. The club, the karaoke place, the ring. Their every encounter was photographed.

 

“W-Wait, so… Sehun wasn’t lying?”

 

“His only lie was being a new fighter,” Yixing answered. “Other than that, he told you the truth, Chanyeol. Every last bit of it. He really is crazy about you. I’ve never seen him care so much about anybody.”

 

“But the fight, he--”

 

“He was trying to get you to win. He knew you would be upset and that's what he wanted because otherwise you’d never be able to fight him for real. He needed you to feel betrayed so that you’d kick his ass.”

 

Chanyeol stood from his chair, moving towards Sehun’s bed. He looked at the the boxing glove necklace.

 

“That’s why he’s wearing the necklace. To show me he really cares,” Chanyeol whispered, his vision blurring from the tears that began to form. “He really does fucking love me.”

 

“He really does. I read behavior, so I can definitely confirm that,” Yixing told him as he made his way to the bed. “Here you go.” He gave him two black briefcases.

 

“What is it?” Chanyeol sniffed.

 

“Your prize money, and a little something extra to pay for the hospital bill. Take care of Sehun, alright?”

 

“Wait, where are you going?”

 

“Well, unfortunately, Sehun lost. He’s no longer to be associated with ZiTao anymore, which means I’m not his manager anymore.”

 

“Are you serious? What’s he going to do now?”

 

“That's up to him; he knew this was going to happen when he lost,” Yixing admitted. “I’m sure you two will be happy together.” He bowed to Sehun and headed for the door.

 

“Oh!” he turned to Chanyeol. “I was only supposed to give you your money, so, you know, you're welcome.”

 

“Thank you,” Chanyeol told him. “Really. Thank you.”

 

After Yixing left, Chanyeol could finally feel tears stream down his face. He now knew Sehun was really who he said he was, and everything between them was real. He understood now, all that Sehun did and why he was so closed off.

 

“Do you think he’s different?”

 

The boxing glove charm still poked itself from Sehun's shirt. “No. I don't. I just know it.”

 

“Even after all this time?” Luhan asked. “You sure love this kid.”

 

“I do love you,” Chanyeol told Sehun as he held his hand again. “I fucking love you, Oh Sehun. Please just wake up so I can tell you to your stupid face.”

  


~~~

 

A week passed and the guys from the ring had started to make renovations using the prize money won from Chanyeol’s match. He heard from Luhan that the place was starting to look like a new gym, which is attracting attention from the public eye; in such a short amount of time, they had kids from all over the city asking to sign up for boxing lessons. Unknowingly, the giant fighter was announced as an instructor for the youth classes. To his surprise, one of the first to sign up was Jimin.

 

Kim Jongin had decided to buy the ring from the city and own it for himself, naming it KAI’S RING and investing lots of money into making it the perfect place for practice. He also invested lots of money into another ring that sat happily on Luhan’s left hand.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t ecstatic about this news, but he was happy for his best _friends_ anyway. Ever since Kai had told him the truth about his identity, the two had been getting along really well. Kai was even in the process of having a contract written for him, seeing as how his judgement wasn't being clouded with jealousy anymore.

 

Kai had no intentions of making a contract for Sehun however, after being infiltrated on by him he didn't even want to see the kid's face, which still had a fading red bruise on it from Chanyeol's fist.

 

"How is your face by the way?" Chanyeol asked the fading blonde boy as he held his hand in the hospital room. "Does it hurt?"

 

He was used to seeing the stoic look on Sehun's face as he talked to him, but this time he actually felt Sehun's hand twitch.

 

"Sehun?" Chanyeol whispered, sitting up closer to him. "Are you awake, Sehun?"

 

He saw the boy's eyes move under his lids before slowly creeping open. He seemed a bit confused before his eyes locked with Chanyeol.

 

"Ch-Chan..."

 

"You're awake," Chanyeol gasped, pulling him into his arms. "You're fucking awake."

 

"What... what happened? Why am I here?" he asked, utterly confused as to why Chanyeol wasn't screaming and cursing him out.

 

"The match... we fought in the match a week ago," Chanyeol tried to pull himself together to explain, though that was not easy with tears streaming from his eyes. "I knocked you out...I didn't know if you would wake up, so I could tell you..."

 

"You beat me?" Sehun asked, his anxiety was slowly coming back to him but he forced himself to keep it together.

 

"Yixing told me everything," Chanyeol admitted. "The mission to infiltrate Kai, pretending that I was one of Kai's trainees, all of it. I know all of it."

 

Sehun pushed himself away from Chanyeol. "I'm s-sorr—"

 

"I love you," Chanyeol murmured, placing a hand on Sehun's bruised cheek, tilting his head to the side. "I love you and I understand why you did what you did."

 

"W-What?" Sehun responded as his own eyes began to glaze over with tears. "But I..."

 

"You risked your entire career and possibly your life for me," Chanyeol told him. "I can't imagine why you'd be so stupid but I still love you."

 

"I..." Sehun's words were choked in his throat. He couldn't remember the last thing that happened, but he was lying there in the hospital with Chanyeol telling him the three words he never knew he wanted to hear so badly.

 

"I'm sorry," he managed to say. "I wanted to tell you everything and give up the match but if I did that ZiTao might have killed me for being a traitor. I'll never understand why you even give two fucks about me but I love you," he cried, and the room was starting to spin but he held on to Chanyeol's hand as the giant boy pressed their lips together. His heart was pounding but in a good way, in a _life is fucking great right now kind of way._

 

He didn't want to relax. He wanted to throw away his pills and let Chanyeol be the one to calm him and make him happy. He wanted to be the one that Chanyeol could vent to and relieve his stress on. He wanted to go to the club on Friday nights and show each other off. He wanted to be his. And he had a feeling Chanyeol wanted just the same.

  
-끝-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm for reading this big long thing. pls leave me feedback or kudos on AFF ♥♥♥ www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1030755/


	9. video trailers ~^~^~ ♥

 

check out my video trailers for this fic & while you're there, please give kudos! ♥

 

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1030755/9/

 

**Author's Note:**

> pls leave feedback! thnks u ^~^


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